Sometimes Progress Feels Like Retreat

relaxation and rest

    Yeah, it's frustrating.  The world tells you that happiness is where it's at.  Keep a gratitude journal.  Take time to do what you enjoy.  Relax like a cat.  But what happens when your path takes you through darkness?
    The first time I ever experienced this was in a yoga class.  The class was at the old Tri City YMCA, taught by Shalini Latour (aside from being a yoga teacher, she makes gourmet chocolates, yum!).  The class focused on neck position.  In each pose she would talk us into correct placement of the head and shoulders.  About 45 minutes into class I began to cry.  Tears flooded down my face.
        It was like there was a cyst of unhappiness in my shoulder and when the muscles relaxed, it released all of the poisonous emotions stored there.  At the time I was mortified, but everyone just let me be and  I finished the class.  Of course, later I learned that emotions can be stored in the body, and are often expressed on the way out.

Me, trying to get into the Elephant camp
 Chang Mai, Thailand

        At these times, it is important to remember the glass is half full.  Here we are, working so hard to be positive. To get there, sometimes you have to plow through yesterday's troubles to get to tomorrow's peace.
       This picture is of me in Thailand.  It is in 1989 and I am at my young, fit best.  Look at my body posture. I'm terrified.   Notice the fear in my body. This fear (or anger or grief or whatever other emotion) happens all the time.  If you don't let it out, it get's stored in the body.
       It is important to remember that the healing crisis, whether it be physical or emotional, is part of the healing process.  Let the unhappy feelings wash over you, then return to your emotional center, the calm of a cat sleeping, safe and secure.

Another Reason to Get Up in the Morning

This morning's sunrise.  I just had to share!

Piece of a Cake

from La Dolce Vita

    Last night as I was winding down to bed, I was frustrated.  You know, you say your prayers, offer your day to God and then apologize that the day was such a poor offering.  I've been working for days on a YouTube video and am having difficulty putting it together (lets just say, it's still not posted).
    So in the free association that happens before bed, I remember this horrible cake my sister and I made for our mom one birthday. In our minds we were making a beautiful offering like the Amaretto cake pictured at left (my personal favorite cake ever made).  This cake, however, was a yellow cake, straight from the box.  We had mixed it up according to the directions and set it in the oven to bake.  Sounds like a great beginning, yes? Well, let's just say the end did not live up to the beginning.

from Breezy Cheetah Pop

      As we removed the layers from the oven, one was dropped.  We took the good layer, then spread the bad one on top.  It looked a bit like freshly mixed cement.  Then it was time to decorate.  This was long before the advent of Wilton's concentrated coloring, so to make a frosting of the lurid red I remember, it must have taken two bottles of food coloring.  To complete, we added multi colored sprinkles.  Of course we did not take pictures, but the cake at right has the same feel of our sorry cake.
      My thought last night was how gracious my mother was in accepting her ugly cake, then it came to me how much I would enjoy it from my kids as an expression of love.  Maybe the day was not such a waste.  Later, I told my husband about the different ways to see the day, he said "Who cares, it's still cake!"  I guess we could restate it as "Any day above ground is a good day."  Hope you all have many more good days, and I promise, the video is coming.

A Little Wisdom from Henry Ford

Henry Ford
from biography.com 

     After Thanksgiving dinner, as we all sat around rubbing our bellies, my brother pulled out a group of quotes.  He is a cross country coach and gives them out before each meet.  Here's the one we were given...

There isn't a person anywhere who isn't capable of doing more than he thinks he can."- Henry Ford

    For me, the clear message here is not just the possibility of doing more, but also, to choose wisely where we do more.  If I go to church, and don't like the message, do I spend more time bad mouthing the speaker or trying to love him?  Loving what drives you crazy, now that is doing more and doing it well.

 

Who Needs Big Brother?

Me on the iPad

     Last night I made an interesting experiment.  I have always wondered what I look like when I do yoga.  I've spent the last 9 years demonstrating, but have never really been sure it was clear.  I finally figured out how to know.  I set the iPad up on the floor next to me as I practiced.  Now the bad part was that the iPad is angled, so I had a triple chin and my belly was huge, but I noticed some very interesting (and reassuring) things.
     First a caution, watching yourself is not for the faint of heart.  You will be surprised how often you fall down, grunt, pant and possibly curse, but what we are looking for is the overall picture.  The thing that I found the most reinforcing was how my downward dog just kept improving as the practice went on.  In each pose, with each adjustment I was both marshaling my energy and expanding outward.
      I also noticed easy fixes for poses that feel problematic.  In my cat-cow, the heads of my arm bones are rolled forward. In today's practice, rolling them out and back felt so much better.  In standing poses, bend the front knee more, in eagle pose (garudasana), sit down further.  All of these changes were so easy and really improved my practice. It let me be my own teacher.
     Now don't go overboard and tape each practice.  A home practice is about inner correction and knowing, but sometimes, an outside perspective can help.

Your Inner Fountain of Youth: Yoga for the Face

He reminds me of Jackie Chan
"Take this, wrinkles!"

    Do you remember how your mother said "If you keep making that face, it might stay that way forever!"  Turns out she may have been right.  We hold so much tension and suppressed emotions in our faces, often we don't look our youthful best.
    Over the past weekend I had a booth at the Victory of Light festival in Sharonville, Ohio.  I was lucky enough to be right next to Sebastian Rey Skin products.  The men at the booth were so much fun, it was like having a floor show all weekend.  Even more important, they looked so young!  As the Expo began to wear down, we had more free time to talk.  Now, a girl never tells, but these men looked about 20 years younger than they were.  Talk about a ringing endorsement for self care.
     Tuesday's yoga class brought this into the physical by relaxing and restoring the face from the inside.  It is always so interesting to find how much tension we store in the eyes and jaws and how easy it is to release it (if only for a little while).  Here is a shorter version of the practice to use at home. (Writing this blog post has been very relaxing, because I keep doing the acupressure points to figure out how to accurately describe them.)
     (The beginning massage is loosely derived from Acupressure's Potent Points: A Guide to Self-Care for Common Ailments.  I highly recommend this book! It explains acupressure, then offers relief for what ails you.)

image from Healing Journeys

• Begin by taking a comfortable seat in a chair or on the floor. Settle into the present time and place. Notice your breathing for several rounds.
• Move to more conscious breathing.
• Inhale and imagine it enters through the front of your throat (your fifth chakra).
• Exhale and imagine it exits through the front and back of the throat.
• Allow the breath to settle and bring your hands into prayer pose (anjali mudra).
• Tip your head gently forward and bring the joined hands to your forehead, touching the index fingers to the third eye (the point between your eyebrows). Rest here for a few breaths.
• Keeping the index fingers in place, spread your palms (keeping palms facing one another) and gently place your thumbs on the bone at the outside our your eyes (right where crow's feet begin to form). Rest here for a few breaths.
• Place the index fingers on your jaw, right below your ears.Keep hands off of your face. Rest here for a few breaths.
• Move the index fingers to the back of the neck, about half way between shoulders and base of the skull.  Slide the index fingers about an inch from center line and gently hold. Rest here a few breaths.
• Place index fingers on the base of the skull (occiput). Rest the index fingers about two inches out from center line on the big tendons.  Hold for several breaths.
• Complete by brushing down the whole body. Begin by gently brushing the face with your hands, moving down the neck and whole body. Crown pull, moving the fingers out from center line on your whole scalp, massaging the head. Pull hands out from center line for the neck, top to bottom and finish by pulling hands over base of the neck to shoulders.

Cat-cow (Majariasana)
from Women's Health

• Come to table pose (svanasana) on your hands and knees.Exhale, round your back into cow. Inhale, arch back and look up into cat. Move through cat-cow (majariasana) with your breath for several rounds.
• Allow the body to settle back into table pose (svanasana).
• Move through cat-cow again, but this time inhale into cow (not cat!), arching your back high.  Imagine that you are inhaling through the back of your heart. Exhale, opening the front of your chest, moving into cat. Continue for several rounds.
• Now time to add the face. As you exhale for cat, open your mouth and eyes wide, sticking your tongue out just like the guy in this picture (keep those eyes open). Continue for several rounds.

• Settle back to table, relax your face, turn your toes under and stretch back to downward facing dog (adho mukha swanasana). 
• Since this is our first down dog, stretch out your legs, moving from side to side to open the backs of the legs and hips.
• Settle back to your downward facing dog, then begin cat-cow just like the last time on your hands and knees. Inhale, round your back up to the sky, breathing in through your heart. Exhale, open your mouth and eyes, sticking your tongue way out.  Move through cat-cow for several more rounds.
• Walk your feet up to your hands, coming to uttanasana (standing forward bend). Place your hands on your hips, inhale to mountain pose (tadasana).

    Now that your face muscles are awake and alive, on to your regular practice.  Do a few sun salutations paying attention to relaxing the face, particularly the eyes and jaw.  Soften the eyes and give a small smile (think smiling Buddha, not Cheshire Cat from Alice in Wonderland).

    I like the first sun salutations to be very gentle, walking back and forth rather than jumping, and making the poses very gentle variations, continuing to pay attention to the face.  Work your way gradually up to jumping back and forth between uttanasana and plank and more vigorous poses, always softening the eyes and jaw. 

    Continue to inversions and standing poses while relaxing the face. End with corpse pose (savasana), setting an intention to relax your face consciously every day. Dip into your inner fountain of youth.

Happy Thanksgiving!

from Blacksheepsite

2012 first pie

      Happy Thanksgiving! As I sit to write, the first pie is out of the oven with more to come. I just love a holiday all about food and family, from the families we were born in to the families that we create.   I was blessed to be born into a large crazy family.  My Grandma, Henrietta, lived with us 4 days a week, and this Norman Rockwell painting shows how she would cut the edges of the crust off the pie.  It was one of the great goals of my life to be able to hold that pie up and cut off the edges.  Thanks, Grandma.  Here is a picture of as her with the grandkids in 1973 (yours truly is sitting front and center in the yellow dress).

     Those families we create are next on my gratitude list. My little family began in Cincinnati (with just me), but over the years has grown.  I have cooked turkeys in Annapolis, the Philippines, Sicily, Florida, Cincinnati and Florence.  In each place there has been a wonderful gathering of people to share it with.  My favorite turkey was one in Sicily.  It was the first with one of those red buttons that pop to tell you the turkey is finished.  The darn thing stayed firmly in the turkey after three or four hours (it felt 5 hours...).  I actually called Mom back in the States.  Calm and collected, she said stop worrying, just shake the leg, see if it's loose.  Can you imagine getting a call from your frantic daughter six time zones away?  Thank God for my mom.

from Timing the Perfect Turkey

I also give thanks for all of the things I have learned this year and especially to my teachers:

•  JoAnn, Wendy, and Sianna in various classes
• my friends at bible study who continue to expand my mind
• my students; yoga, reiki and others
• most of all, my family, Greg, John, Daniel and Joan

My teachers also come to me through books.  From Pavel Tsatsouline, who teaches how real men stretch, to Steven Pinker, who proves the decline in violence, to Susan Cain, who taught me that I was an introvert, I am truly grateful. (By the way, her book got me interested in the Meyers Briggs personality test.  Turns out I am an INFJ which is only one percent of the population.  It explains a lot of things and frees me to be myself.  What a gift!)

from Carlos Flores, USNA class of 1988

     My next offer of gratitude is for those who serve our country in the military.  The definition for veteran: someone who has written a check, payable to “The United States of America”, for any amount up to, and including, their life.  This post from August is about our gift of Thanksgiving to the country of Grenada by invading in October of 1984. I am especially grateful for those who continue to serve, keeping our family gatherings possible through your service.
      A small side note of gratitude goes to my internet.   I have been having problems until this morning.  Let's just say I have 13 draft posts and four more rough ideas caught in the files of my computer.

From Tewksbury Rod and Gun

     One final note of gratitude goes to the beloved American Turkey, who gives his life annually that we might have a great dinner.
      If you would like the pleasure and health benefits of adding a bit of gratitude into your life, let me recommend Happy Rambles.  It is an online gratitude journal.  Each day they send and email requesting your entry and store your replies online. It makes you realize there are things to be grateful for every day.

P.S. I am truly grateful for my boys who are in the kitchen pealing and chopping potatoes so I can post on my blog.  I have been showered with blessings!  Happy Thanksgiving!