It's beginning to look a lot like April...

Florence on Friday

Florence on Monday

How did this happen?
      From this....

                                                 To this....



    Though we are not getting the white Christmas the kids desire, there is a lot to be thankful for/  Here are a few photos from the family Christmas Eve...
                                                  






The Christmas tree with all of the handmade wooden ornaments, over loads of gifts.  There is so much of our life from the Italian pottery we drove to Patti to pick up, to the enourmous can of Kirin beer with the dragon head (a night to remember!), to the chair on the left that my husband's grandfather died in, to the rug I bought with my very first real paycheck.



Joy the cat (and all of us) wish you a very merry Christmas!

It's Worth the Pain

      This morning I was at the vet with my cat, Joy.  Let's just say she was less than thrilled.  She was in for a recheck of dermatitis on her chin.  A few weeks ago she had scratched her chin hard enough to draw blood.  What we had not really noticed was how she slowed down, stopped playing.  I marked it down to age.
        Ten days and a few antibiotics later, Joy is running around like a mad woman.  With all this joy also has come two vet visits, 4 shots, oral and topical medicine twice a day.  It is such a strong parallel to my feelings about 2012.  There has been progress, I am feeling better, but there has been unpleasantness along the way.  The cage I have felt was for my own good, but seriously, ick!

       This was the year I tried to do all the business stuff by the books.   I bought a professional website, started a blog, made a professional Facebook page (or two), bought the computer software... (I could go on, but you get the picture.)  The business had always done well enough, but never well.  I was going to make it shine (and hopefully pay for college...).  It was kind of like this puzzle.  All of the pieces are bright and shiny, but they are in a remarkable jumble.

      The good news is that persistence pays off.  The pieces are beginning to fit and form something.  It will be interesting to see what it is.  All of the computer work has turned into creating a blog for my friend.  Today's post about the Mayan calendar is great.  For me the Great Transformation that everyone is talking about this year, has been in how I look at things.  I've learned how to relax and be at peace in a lot of situations that I really wish I wasn't in.  It has been on the job training of the worst sort, but now, I'm getting pretty good at it.  I also have a lot of tools to give to my clients and students.
     Can't wait until 2013 to see what the puzzle looks like!

Help in Tragic Times

       This Sunday, as I looked out over the congregation at church, almost three quarters of the congregation was dressed in either grey or black.  It was shocking to see how deeply the tragedy at Sandy Hook Elementary penetrated, even if subconsciously. We pray, we send money, but it feels so futile.
        This devastating feeling, like so many other things, changed when I learned reiki.  In reiki level II, we learn to send reiki over a distance to a person, a place, or even a time.  Sending healing energy to a disaster can be quite empowering.  In last Wednesdays post, I talked about how sending reiki can even change your physiology.

       I've done this many times since I first was attuned, but sometimes it gets interesting.  The Fukushima nuclear disaster really hit me personally.  I have strong ties to Japan and Japanese culture through travel and friends.  Many of my Japanese friends had returned home before the tsunami and I couldn't stop worrying about them.  It was time to do something proactive.
       Each morning when I went out on my walk, I would send energy to a general, vague "those poor people suffering and working to fix Japan."  My worry obscured clarity.  So I would send reiki for the hour or so that I was out and about and return home feeling able to set about my day.
        What was interesting over time is how the recipient became more and more clear.  At first it felt like rain, sprinkling over the tsunami victims.  Not necessarily effective, but just the act of giving reiki made me feel better.  As the days and walks progressed, I began to get a feeling of who I was to.  At first it was just a general sense of where, to the north and east in Japan.  Later that it was near Fukushima, but not in the reactor.  By the end it had narrowed down to a specific male aid worker.  I felt, not only at peace, but also like I had made a difference.
         I urge you to experience the peace of praying and sending reiki to the victims at Sandy Hook Elementary, their families, and the entire community.

Sending energy to a disaster area, my experience with the Fukashima earthquake and now to Sandy Hook Elementary

Let Me In!

 There has been a cardinal hanging around the choir area in our church for nearly a year.  In the springtime, when energy is high, the cardinal flies into the window, demanding entrance with her wings.  Now that we are deeply into fall, she sits and pecks at the window or hops around trying to get in.  These pictures are taken over the course of an hour. She is so persistent.
     The more I watched her, the more I began to identify with her.  This year has been the year of 'trying hard.'  Now, as we all know, the problem with trying means that you are not doing. I 'tried' to do things the way you are 'supposed' to do them.  I had high hopes, but lets just say 2012 has been a learning experience rather than a success.

      Back to the bird, not only did I love the bird for her persistence, but I really began to enjoy her company.  I had gone to church early and was waiting for practice.  I had a book, but it was cold and I was a bit lonely.  She brightened my day.  As I focused on her quest, I didn't notice the cold.
      She also made me think.  Two days before I had a business meeting about something I was dissatisfied with.  Now, I know in any relationship, both parties are responsible for the success or failure, but I just couldn't see what I was doing wrong.  Everything looked right on the surface.  I was working hard, what was wrong?  Turns out, I had a lot in common with the cardinal.

     This cardinal is never going to make it into church through these windows unless we break one of the panes.  The windows don't open.  If she flew around  to the front, we could let her in.  This business thing was a lot like that.  No matter how hard I flew at it, no amount of effort would get me where I wanted to go.  A redirection of effort has yielded immediate results.  Who knew?
      The best part of the story remains the pleasure the cardinal has given me in the course of the afternoon (and judging from the responses to my Facebook post, for many people over the year).  Yes, she gave me a lot to think about as well, but isn't it nice to know that even amidst our difficulties, we bring pleasure to others.  Making the world a brighter place is no small thing.
      If you look at life from a deathbed perspective (do I have good relationships with my family? was I kind to the grocery store check out lady? did I love the cat?),  my 2012 has been a success.  It is a good perspective to take because these are the permanent fixtures in life, not how much money we make, how much we weigh, or does this dress make me look fat.  I am so grateful for the lessons given to me by the 'unsuccessful' cardinal.  In my book, her 2012 was a grand success.

Come to Us, O Rising Sun

     This morning I was driving south to Lexington to pick my son up from college.  The daybreak was very slow and beautiful.  As I watched the sun begin to light up the clouds I was practicing some of our choir's music for Advent and Christmas.  Let's just say the switch from second alto (as low as it goes) to the descant (pretty darn high) has made me practice quite a bit. What made the moment special was the song.  I feel like Advent songs fit how life often feels.  We wait, hopeful and expectant.  We long to be complete.  We await the break of a new day.

Come to us, O Rising Sun!

Come to us, O Endless Light!

Come to us, O Heart's Desire!

Come to us, O Saving Love!

Dance, Baby Dance

Easter, 2010

          Want to stay young? Keep the mind vigorous? Stave off Alzheimer's?  Everyone recommends taking up a new hobby.  I say look to your past for something you have stopped doing.  This year I've found what's old is new.
       Over the years, somehow I learned to sit down and shut up.  Talk about giving up on my gifts.  I remembered to walk, but forgot to dance.  I remembered to talk, but not to sing.  Somehow I became embarrassed about it all.  Who knew?  It seems like the free person on our left only comes out for the holidays like a good dress, then goes back into the closet until the next festive event.
       As I write this, I'm at church and the preschoolers are practicing for their Christmas program.  It's adorable, but they are also learning to conform.  Now this is a big overstatement, but there is this feeling of sit down and shut up (except when I tell you to stand up and perform).  It's important to society that we learn how to be polite and respectful of others, but it can be taken way too far.  Turns out, that's just what I did.
       As we approach the new year, it is a great time to look at our lives, maybe see a few things that we have given up, some of that zest for life that has been lost.  Now, identifying the problem is not nearly enough.  To remedy the situation, we need a plan.  Make a regular, public commitment that will restore the smile to your face.

this is about what I sound like now...
(clip art from Fiddler's Crossing)

        I had never made a New Year's resolution before, but last January I chose 3 areas of my life that I felt I had "given up" on.  I resolved to be a better friend, learn how to sing, and remember how to write.  All things I had given up in the pursuit of being a great parent.  Totally unnecessary, but if you watch What Not To Wear, apparently it is quite common. It was time to become a beginner again.
       What is so cool is that I have made progress in all of the areas.  For me the key was to make the commitments public.  If you set a weekly date to meet a friend, she is likely to make you stick with it, just like an accountability buddy when you run.  I also joined the choir. Even when there are 10 other people singing your part, it is important to the group that you show up for practice and church.  Peer pressure works. As for writing, this is my 127th post. I'm getting somewhere on that promise too.
        It's time to begin thinking about this next year.  I've been tossing around ideas- learning to improve my website, committing to dancing and playing games, I'm not sure yet.  Right now anything is possible for 2013 and I'm so excited.

Always a Good Policy

A sobering first reflection for the morning... :)