What is Community? Lessons from a broken bike

    On Tuesday my bike found a piece of glass in the road and I got a flat tire. I was only a mile and a half from my house, so it was no big deal. Since severe thunderstorms were starting to move into the area, I had to get home as quickly as possible. It took about a half hour (boy do we have big hills!) so I had loads of time to think.
     At first I was thinking 'who would you trust if they stopped to help you?' It was strange. I usually trust everyone, enough so that it makes my husband nervous. After a while, I moved on to 'why is no one stopping to help?'

Too Much Force!

    Working with the human body is a touchy thing in more ways than one. When we adjust in yoga or touch in healing there is always the possibility of harming the person you are trying to help. There is nothing more irritating than the practitioner pressing into your body when they should be gently laying on hands or an instructor forcing your body into a position it does not want to take.
     Just yesterday I experienced something amazing. My Tai Chi teacher gave me a hand up from the floor. Now this is a man who has made a career out of breaking people. He has forgotten more about martial arts than most black belts ever learn. But when he gave me a hand up off the floor, it was with the perfect amount of force, like the lift was evenly distributed throughout my entire body, not just through my hands to my shoulders, to the body. He always jokes that if you know how to cause pain, you also know how to heal.
     How do we learn to do the same thing? First by becoming more aware of your body and it's edges. Those edges might be your hands, clothes, hair, or a healing accessory (like the lotion bottle of a massage therapist). If any part of you touches your client it should be intentional. Not only does it remove your client from the experience, but it can become actively irritating (when the yoga instructor's long hair touches you).
      Once you've learned your edges, it's time to discover your power. Press your hands together as hard as you can (according to NASA this is force is between 30-50 pounds). Now, push half as hard (between 15-25 pounds). Now, half as hard again (7.5-12.5 pounds). That last one is as hard as you should ever push when working with a client or student. Granted these are averages, but the exercise I described works very well in practice. And on that note, just like getting to Caragie Hall, the best solution learning to adjust poses is to practice.
       The final hurdle is forming a relationship. Before touching a client in a healing session or a student in a yoga class, always get permission first. Part of this process is making sure the person you are working with will tell you to stop if it is irritating or begins to hurt. Go into it gently. Sometimes, you may need to have the discussion several times in one session.
      This week's video is about the Hanna Kroeger technique for resetting the brain stem. In it you gently manipulate the client's head to reset the brain stem. It is the perfect way to practice your use of gentle force.

Command Presence

      Command presence. Sounds like something for a police officer or military man. In police work, it's what keeps you alive. For the military, it's what keeps your unit focused and on task amidst destruction and devastation. But how does this fit into the gentle framework of energy healing?
Our first problem is in the idea that healing is gentle. Healing requires change, both accepting that change is necessary and that it is beneficial. To the client, change can be a scary thing, even when the intellect is saying it's safe. Our job as healers is to provide the activation energy. In chemistry it's the minimum quantity of energy that the reacting species must possess in order to undergo a specified reaction. For our purposes, it is the force required to get a change from what you are doing to what you want to do. Command presence is that force. It is the energy of a parent enforcing rules and boundaries or the energy a trusted policeman uses to break up an incipient fight.
     Each time I teach reiki and Hanna Kroeger techniques, it also becomes a class in command presence. Both require the healer to take charge and supply the activation energy to bring about change, even if the change is to relax. It makes everthing feel safe. And it is teachable. Finding the balance between command presence (authority, trust, respect) and bullying (loud, ordering, controlling) is best done with a trusted teacher aloud. In my first year of playing with reiki, I tried so hard to force or push the energy. It took time to realize how to relax and let it happen while being in control. Like playing with a group of first graders. The teacher supplies the framework, the kids supply the energy.
     But I hear you say, I'm not there with you, how do I work on command presence? I think there are two facets to work on. The first is laying in the groundwork. It is easier to act with confidence and authority when you have a strong body, mind, and spirit. Sleep and exercise are essential. Use clothing that fits well and looks good to bolster your confidence. Act with honor and integrity so that worry does not cloud your spirit.
The second area is discipline. It's like a muscle that developes the more you use it. The nice thing is that working on one discipline translates to others. Take a cold shower, get out of be a half hour earlier, fast for a day (or a meal), be kind to other drivers (no matter what), meditate at the same time each day. Just find something that is difficult, speaks to you, and do it, no questions asked. I highly recommend the book, Celebration of Discipline: The Path to Spiritual Growth by Richard J. Foster. He reminds us that discipline is not all about giving up stuff, rather moving toward becoming the person you were divinely created to be.
     Command presence really came into focus when I made this video about Hanna Kroeger methods for healing the pituitary. It's all about confidence and using your intuition to support and enhance pituitary function. If you have any ideas about command presence or stories to share, please leave a comment below.

Non-dual Thinking

     Three years ago, in a fit of grace, I gave up figuring things out. You know how something happens- your back goes out, your child fails out, someone is unkind to you- then you spend hours and hours replaying the event trying to decide why it happened or how you could have (woulda, shoulda) changed the outcome. I decided that it was a waste of my time when I'll never know the true answer.
     What was a neat side effect was how it opened my mind more easily to non-dual thinking, being able to hold two opposite things as true. Dualism is all about choosing sides; men are better than women, beauty is better than ugliness, America is better than everybody else. Non-dual thinking can see each sex as even, the beauty in ugliness, and that every country is both good and bad at the same time.
      As an energy healer, there is a lot of letting go. Allopathic (MD) medicine says this, chiropractic (DC) says that, Naturopathic (ND) offers a different perspective, and what about the osteopaths (DO)? Often my experiences as a reiki practitioner and teacher say something else entirely. I think we are probably all right and wrong at the same time. It all comes down to language and accepting that each client is completely different.
      This week I've been preparing for my monthly reiki share. The class on the pineal and pituitary glands is mostly written, house mostly tidy, accompanying YouTube video posted. As I was working on the video I struggled to communicate the function of the pineal gland. Modern medicine says it is an 'atrophied photoreceptor' that secretes melatonin and has 'an exalted status in the realm of pseudoscience' (quotes from Wikipedia). Hanna Kroeger said that the pineal gland is the door to God's grace (Seven Spiritual Causes of Ill Health). But what is the difference between atrophied photoreceptor and the third eye?
     For me it is all in the experience. When I perform the maneuver to open the pineal gland, I can feel the change in my meditation, emotional stability, and ability to go to sleep. Clients have reported similar experiences. Calling things pseudoscience is just fear looking at the undiscovered reality that we swim in.  Who could fund the study to confirm this and how could you control for other factors. I have no idea, so instead I choose to hold both ideas gently at the same time. Non-dual thinking to the rescue!

Conspicuous Consumption

     I just had the great good fortune of a short trip to Portland, Oregon. What an amazing place! On our first day we drove from the city to the coast and back in a great triangle. There were moments of breathtaking beauty, signs of great poverty, and huge signs of man's heavy hand on the planet. It was such a moving day in so many ways I'm not sure what to do with it.
      The turmoil began on the drive to the quirky pirate city of Astoria. As we left the city of Portland the beautiful woods of the Northwest closed in about the road. I actually said that it was so beautiful we could turn around and not go any further. It was breathtaking.

the beautiful drive through a very rain soaked window

     As we drove along highway 30 it began to open into farmland. The farm houses grew smaller and in greater disrepair the further we drove from the city. Subsistence living was such a strong contrast to the city were people routinely pay $5 for a cup of coffee.
    In a few miles the land began to rise. We passed truck after truck filled to overflowing with huge logs. Then we hit the first clear cut. A huge swath of the forest cut down to stumps. A long bit of forest, then an area that was selectively logged. The difference between untouched land and logged areas was stark.

each of the white tags in this blurry photo is a newly planted tree

      We reached Astoria with relief. What a great town! If it hadn't been raining I would have stopped in every shop and bar in the place, each looked so unique. We stopped at Pier 39 to have a cup of something warming at Coffee Girl, where they serve coffee over the same bar that the young women would serve coffee to all of the cannery workers on their breaks.

the original coffee counter

The pier was so different from the many naval piers I've been to. It smelled so clean and fresh. The ocean had healed all the scars from it's prior incarnation as a cannery. We went into the shop and ordered some drinks. It's the strangest thing. Driving in a warm, dry car through driving rain. Why did we feel so cold and miserable? The drinks were wonderful and so picturesque I needed a photo.

our table at Coffee Girl

Notice the background? The river was full of container ships going to Portland and other port cities. It was so neat to watch. As we sat there it struck me, most of these ships, in fact, all of them are full of future landfill contents. I try to be careful about my footprint, reusing and recycling as much as possible, but that lovely fabric I just used to make a dress probably came from China in a ship just like this, not to mention the containers I use each Friday to bring dinner home from Chipotle.

     What about the clear cutting we saw earlier? My house is made of wood. My husband is a woodworker, so the basement is full of wood. That Chipotle container is paper. The napkins on our table are paper. Wait, the table is wood!

     I was paralyzed by my complicity in the destruction I saw everywhere. Also, that even with such abundant resources, both locally and from abroad, how many poor subsistence level farms we saw. I know that for some it is a choice they welcome, but for others it is just what they were born into.

     It can be so easy to think 'they' are the problem. The loggers who cut the trees down. The manufacturers who pollute in China. The Enron executives who lived high by lying to employees and investors. The truth is I am 'they.' Not bad, not evil, just responsible for the results from my actions.

    It's been several months since I took these pictures. Each time I set down to write this post, I only got another paragraph. I kept waiting for resolution, for some big change to make it work, to make it make sense.  That sense I was looking for was there all along. I keep thinking I need to change the world, but I just need to change my world. Make the place I live a nicer, kinder, more gentle place. Move from conspicuous to conscious consumption.

Perfect Person for the Job

     Over the past year and a bit I have been a traveling fool. It's been wonderful. Italy (twice), Amsterdam, California (twice), North Carolina, Portland. All in one year. Like God was making up for all the years I spent at home in one fell swoop. All this travel has put me in contact with more people in one year than the last twenty, combined. One thing that I kept noticing is how finding joy is possible anywhere.
     When we were traveling to Portland, my husband and I had a long layover in Detroit. On the way to the gate for our next flight, I stopped to pick up a bottle of water. There were six people in line in front of me. It took nearly a half hour to check out even though there were three people behind the counter. As we waited the shop grew more and more crowded, but the man working the cash register remained calm and smiling. He'd tell each new customer that the computer system is down, sorry for your wait, add up the expenses, make change, and send them off smiling. It was beautiful. He was the perfect person for the job.
     On the last leg home from Amsterdam Delta was having a 'luggage problem.' There was not enough room on the plane for the carryon luggage allowed. The gate agent was asking people to check their luggage, counting how many peices each passenger was carrying, and checking in a huge line of people, all on her own. She just took it in stride, smiling the whole time. She made everyone feel easy and comfortable, even while they were being badgered to give up something they'd paid a lot of money for. She had no need to blame it on the company or apologize. She was the perfect person for the job.
     I think this is what makes change so hard. We take our world, shape it into something where we are the perfect person for the job, then the world changes on us. We lose that job, the kids go off to school, an new child is born, the job moves to a different state. It doesn't even need to be a bad change for the new way of living to take away our joy. The key is realize that it is within each of us to find joy in whatever situation.
     But how, darn it?
     When I think about the people I've seen this year and of my own times of joy, I notice three things in common. Competence, relaxation, and focus. Both of the people I described knew their jobs and did them well in trying circumstances. Competent. When my kids both left for college, I needed to learn how to organize my own life. I felt like I was drifting. It was so uncomfortable. School hours had always broken my day into neat bits that I filled in with work. I was lost deciding how to order my days. Four years later, I have a system that works most of the time. It gave be back lines to color inside. Thank God.
     The relaxation I'm thinking of is not meditation or stretching. It can almost be described as allowing.  The idea 'what I can't control, I won't worry about.' It was amazing to watch these two people rise to the challenge with no complaints, no worries, no energy spent on what they could not control. In direct contrast to their shining examples, I am a master worrier. It's a talent. One that I use in the small hours of every night. It drives me crazy, but I do have a work around. Each night before I go to bed, I write down a list of everything I could wake up and try to solve in the middle of the night. If I wake up and start thinking, I just remind myself that that is already on the list and go back to sleep. It only took three nights for my brain to start believing and now it works like a charm.
     The last commonality I noticed was focus. My two teachers in the airports were completely present, not worrying about the future or fretting about past mistakes. They didn't even blame the employers who got them into the uncomfortable situations, they just worked to resolve the problems before them. It was beautiful. Meditation in action. I find this place most easily when I'm doing reiki, working in the garden, writing fiction, or sewing. The key is to take that feeling of ease and find ways to put it in the other areas of life. Sometimes I clean house the way I garden, just setting out to work for a while and letting it take me where it will rather than to finish a specific task. Other times I clean the way I sew, noticing how each little bit of clean area adds to the beauty of the whole room.
     Joy is not happiness. Joy is not pleasure. But what, exactly, is it? I had the hardest time defining joy, though I experience it all the time. I poked and I prodded. Nothing. Finally I went to Uncle Google for help. Here is my favorite definition so far. According to John Piper in his article How Do You Define Joy?, "Joy is a good feeling of the soul, produced by the Holy Spirit, as he causes us to see the beauty of Christ in the word and in the world." To secularize this definition, joy is a good feeling of the soul from seeing the beauty in the world. Lets all go out, find some beauty and become the perfect person for whatever job you have today.

How to Fire a Client, Energy Healer style

     How to fire a client. This topic has 1,270,000 articles that come up on a web search. Most deal with clients who are difficult or disrespectful, but it is different in the healing business, especially in the energy healing business. To become a healer of any sort- doctor, chiropractor, reiki practitioner- is to come from a genuine desire to help people. So what to do if the best help you can give someone is to recommend they leave?
     Recently I've been on both sides of this experience and I have a few observations that may help you as you make this decision. From the receiving end being fired was so frustrating! I wasn't sure which was worse that he said he couldn't help or that it took so long (and so much money) for him to let me know. First lesson learned:

1. Be Proactive

     For two and a half years, I was a patient of a great chiropractor. I generally saw him biweekly. We tried manipulation, traction, exercises, supplements. Nothing worked. Grr. I was feeling worse than when we started. I finally expressed my frustration with lack of progress and he said, lets take a break for a few weeks and I'll come back to you with suggestions. When I came back the suggestion was to look elsewhere for healing.
     As I write this I'm still angry that it took me (the patient) to put up the 'this isn't working' flag. We had the same discussion two other times over the years I was his patient. I should have trusted my gut earlier. It's important to know what your own abilities are. Which leads me to the second lesson.

2. Know Your Abilities

     One of the most valuable things I've ever learned can be summed up in three simple questions. Before beginning any work as yourself these questions- May I? Can I? Should I? In this situation our question is can I? Is it within my abilities to help my client?
     Two weeks ago I had to let go of a client. It was hard because not only was he a regular appointment, but I really enjoyed working with him. Sessions were very interactive and interesting. But something wasn't quite right. I couldn't put my finger on it. Then he said something in an email that made me understand. There was a situation he needed to clear before any more healing happened. And it needed skills I don't yet possess.
     For a more concrete example, if you come to me with a compound fracture of the femur, I'll send you to the orthopedic surgeon to get the bone set, then we can get to work.
    It becomes a matter of ethics. Taking someone's money and time, while knowing I can't help, is just wrong.

3. Use Your Tools

     It was hard to admit I couldn't help.
     Really hard.
     I so didn't want to make the call. So I called in reinforcements from the toolbox I have amassed over the years. My first stop was Brain Gym. Most people go to brain gym classes to learn how to help the kids, either students in their classes or clients. We all walk away with tools to help ourselves.
     When I am confronted with changing stubborn ideas, I need to look no farther than my door. Using this chart, I did a Brain Gym balance around letting go. It took about fifteen minutes.
     It felt better, but I wasn't quite ready. Time for the next tool. I got out my zafu (made from this pattern and buckwheat hulls) and sat down. That's all. Just a little time with the Lord, not to pray or ask or complain, just to spend a bit of time.
     I made the call, still not sure I could admit my inability. But it was so easy. I was calm and forthright, not pushing for 'here's the perfect solution.' We agreed to stopping the work.
     I have no idea what it was like on the client's end, but I felt very peaceful, like I had finally found the solution for a problem that was lurking in the back of my mind.

     It's never easy to change things, even if they are not working. It's just important to remember to notice how you are feeling, honor the need to change, and use all your tools to make the change as gentle as possible. If you have any ways to make this transition smoother or would like to share your story (from either side) please leave a comment below. Blessings, Pam