This morning I was out running (bless spring and merely freezing weather), I had a thought and had the strongest reaction. It really took me aback. I thought about teaching yoga in my favorite shorts that I wear in my home practice. It made me so happy. I mean, seriously, joyous about looking so different? I already don't look like the ladies in Yoga Journal. Weirder, seriously? It was a wake up call that I needed.
After I got home I spent some time thinking about this strange revelation. With no clarity arising, I moved on with my day. Later I picked up
50/50: Secrets I Learned Running 50 Marathons in 50 Days -- and How You Too Can Achieve Super Endurance!
by, Dean Karnazes. At this point in the book, he is running the Marine Corps Marathon on day 43 of 50 straight marathons
(yes, crazy, but fun to live vicariously...) As he runs by the sculpture the Awakening, by J. Seward Johnson, Jr, he observes... "This giant figure seems at war with his greatest adversary, himself. He appears to be struggling with the decision to follow what is in his heart, to buck convention and pursue an alternative course, a road less traveled. The grimace on his face comes from knowing that his past may have been a numb existence, and that he will require great courage and conviction in the future if he is to avoid sinking back into the tomb of conformity. There will be untold battles waged within himself..."
Then I finally had my moment of clarity. It was how I used to see life (and still often revert to). Life is a struggle to be won, fought against the odds. How this contrasts to what I believe in the front of my mind and what I teach to students of all ages! At church I say 'no one gets out of heaven without gifts,' in classes and meetings I work to show others how they are so good for the world. Doesn't this mean I am also good for the world, just the way I am? Or, better yet, if I really let loose...
Each time I write a new class (which is what I was thinking about right before the thought of the short round woman teaching yoga in shorts), I start creating the class that my favorite teachers would teach me. Slowly, through many practices, I discard the parts that are not me and end with a class that I can teach very authentically.
Let's just say a bit crazy and out of the box is so my style, but I love calm, quiet teachers. My students like the humor and creativity, more like the Chihuly at left, than the sculpture above. Maybe the uplift in spirit is exactly what I needed to finish my class...Meditation for Movers, anyone?
