Finding Your Why

         How is it that so often what we want to do, what we 'should' do is so hard?  Why is it that something we love uses up all of our willpower to just begin, much less finish?  For me the root motivation is always my "why?"  Why to get up in the morning, why to eat well, why to be kind to the telemarketer, why do anything at all?
        I wrote about the power of meaning in these three posts about ikigai (the Okinawan word for life purpose).  Somehow or another I just keep finding areas in my life that I have forgotten to apply this to.  Last week I discovered another neglected region.
       In January 2013, I became mostly vegan (here are my influences).  It was very intellectually satisfying and there is so much scientific evidence, but the buzz didn't last.  Another big factor is my commitment to the environment.  We have relatives living in New Jersey, and with each trip east there are more factory farms on the Pennsylvania turnpike.  Each time we travel, it reminds me of how detrimental this concentrated waste stream is to the local ecosystem (not to mention the animal suffering).  More about this here.  Again, day to day commitment was challenging.

     I had a major "Ahah!" moment last week when I was out running.  How do I see myself?  How do I make my life easier?  I'm not an environmentalist and my heart always beats my head in big decisions, so who am I?   I have always seen myself as an athlete and never heard the words "you can't" without saying "yes I can!"  I realized in the past I had read 3 books that provide my motivation.   Four days later, I purchased them and found my purpose again.
    Eat and Run: My Unlikely Journey to Ultramarathon Greatness by Scott Jurek is a voyage.  He takes us through is life (as quirky as our own) that leads to health and purpose without discounting the struggles to get there.  There is a recipe at the end of each chapter, but the most important part, for me, is the reality of his journey.  He lets us in on the physical, emotional and spiritual pitfalls he has encountered.  It is so approachable.

      My next book is Thrive: The Vegan Nutrition Guide to Optimal Performance in Sports and Life by Brendan Brazier.  He has an emphasis on live, easy to digest foods the are portable and flexible.  Even better, the healing foods are interesting, piquant and right up my alley.  All of the recipes that I have tried have worked well and are to my taste.  Once I read that if you get three recipes from a book, it is money well spent.  In this book I have tried many more and have liked them all.
    Running with the Mind of Meditation: Lessons for Training Body and Mind is the final book.  I love to move and I love to meditate.  Over the years I have learned that often I need one to do the other.  This book gives easy and practical motivations for creating the peaceful mind inside the moving body.  What I love the most about this particular book is that  Sakyong Mipham, the author, approaches running as the secondary condition, and meditation as the primary, a completely opposite approach from mine.  It is great to see the world from eyes that are different, but a mind that agrees with your own.

     I leave you with one last motivation for my going mostly vegan.  It is Dr Greger's 2012 presentation about the leading causes of death.  All of the YouTube videos are fairly poor, but I love the talk.  He makes me laugh and what more could you want on a talk about the causes of death?
     So, here are my reasons for this one decision.  What are yours?

In No Particular Order...

     In the past few months I have read so many books, it was hard to decide which to write about.  One book, however, has really made an impact.  It is not so much the deep research or useful metaphors, though the book has them aplenty.  Rather, it is the material is so simple to grasp and utilize it makes me wonder how I could have ever not known it.  The book is called Hardwiring Happiness: The New Brain Science of Contentment, Calm, and Confidence by Rick Hanson.
       The core idea is stated simply in the introduction "HEAL: Have a positive experience. Enrich it. Absorb it. Link positive and negative so that positive soothes and even replaces negative. (The fourth step is optional.)"  How easy, right?  The key is to notice being happy and roll around in it like a dog in the grass. Like the old song, I think the book could be renamed "If you're happy and you know it."
          So you could just read the introduction and be done with it, but then you would miss all of the interesting metaphors and unique ways to remember things gleaned from years of practice as a neuropsychologist and teacher.  Here are a few that I really liked:
 -    "Imagine that your mind is like a garden.  You could simply be with it, looking at its weeds and flowers without judging or changing anything.  Second, you could pull weeds by decreasing what's negative in your mind.  Third, you could grow flowers by increasing the positive in your mind."
-      "Since neurons that fire together wire together, staying with a negative experience pat the point that's useful is like running laps in Hell:  You dig the track a little deeper in your brain each time you go around it."
-       "(Since the parts of the brain have developed over time), it helps me to think of my own mind as containing a kind of lizard, mouse, and monkey related to the avoiding, approaching and attaching systems.  We meet our core needs for safety, satisfaction, and connection when we -metaphorically- pet the lizard, feed the mouse, and hug the monkey."
            There are many exercises and practices later in the book to teach the reader to enrich and absorb the positive experiences we all have.  I think the most important gift to us all from this book is  the knowledge that we are in the driver's seat of our happiness bus.  "On average, about a third of a person's strengths are innate, built into his or her genetically based temperament, talents, mood, and personality.  The other two-thirds are developed over time.  You get them by growing them.  To me this is wonderful news, since it means that we can develop the happiness and other inner strengths that foster fulfillment, love, effectiveness, wisdom, and inner peace.  Finding out how to grow these strengths inside you could be the most important thing you ever learn."

In No Particular Order...

 
     This week is devoted to only one book
Drop Dead Healthy: One Man's Humble Quest for Bodily Perfection by A.J Jacobs. In short, what a fun, funny way to review all sorts of medical advice.  I finished the book in 2 days and laughed the whole time.  I had to keep hiding the book so I would go to bed on time or do some other work.  What better recommendation could you ask for?

     This 2 year odyssey was so far-ranging, I couldn't even figure out how to review it.  So, as any good Navy person would do, I cheated (cooperate and graduate).  This review is by 'takingadayoff' from the Amazon.com website:

"Magazine writer A.J. Jacobs calls it "experiential journalism." He takes on seemingly ridiculous, yet intriguing, challenges. He reads the entire Encyclopedia Britannica. He lives the Bible, even the apparently trivial parts, such as not shaving your face. He outsources his life to a team of personal assistants in India.

He learns along the way and shares his discoveries. It's very entertaining. Jacobs has an easygoing and, for someone who writes almost exclusively in first person, surprisingly non-egotistical style. He works hard at his projects, preparing ahead, and doing research throughout. He's a real pro at being an amateur.

In his latest undertaking, he attempts to become healthy. This is more difficult than it sounds. He plans to go from slightly overweight and out of shape to heroic fitness. And that's not all. He also intends to improve the condition of all of his body parts: skin, nose, hands, etc. All this in two years!

One of the first roadblocks he runs into is the sheer volume of information and theories on how to be fit. The second obstacle is that much of the information is contradictory. There is no agreed upon, guaranteed path to health. Even trusted experts don't agree with one another.

But the main impediment to super health is self control. No surprise there. Jacobs manages to overcome the problem with a variety of methods. When he has trouble giving up a favorite snack, he writes a large check to the American Nazi Party and vows to mail it next time he gives in to temptation. He finds this kind of negative motivation very powerful.

Another trick that works for Jacobs, though not as dramatically effective as the negative motivation, is to digitally age a photo of himself (there's an app for that) so that he can better imagine himself in the future. Being able to picture his future self ("old A.J.") helps him to stick to his goals.

He also finds inspiration in two examples in their nineties - his own grandfather who remained involved in community affairs long after his formal retirement, and fitness expert Jack La Lanne, who kept a busy professional schedule, spreading the word about healthy living, right to the end."

     In short, what a fun, funny way to review all sorts of medical advice.  I finished the book in 2 days and laughed the whole time.  I had to keep hiding the book so I would go to bed on time or do some other work.  What better recommendation could you ask for?

In No Particular Order...

      This week's selections originated in a "mountaintop experience."  I was sitting with my cat, Joy, meditating in the sunshine this winter.   Between one moment and the next my perspective shifted completely.  It was as if I could see my life and business from the outside.  I realized the mistakes I had made in my business in 2012.  I had been "selling" what I was interested in, not what drew clients to me.  People come to my business for a light, happy healing and learning experience.  It is all about fun and play.
     Unfortunately, in some ways, I had forgotten how to play, what makes everything fun in life.  So, like all people who have educated the play out of themselves, it was time to do a little research.  Here are some of the results (and, leave me a message if you want more, I have loads of material):



The Red Rubber Ball at Work: Elevate Your Game Through the Hidden Power of Play

     From the clever cover (yes, the ball really is rubber) to brevity of the stories this book is a wonderful physical representation of the powerful ideas within. Through many examples, Kevin Carrol demonstrates how entrepreneurs in a wide variety of fields transformed their childhood play into thriving businesses.  The variations allow the readers mind to work it's way back to early memories then project forward into their own lives.  At first, I found the third person narrative format off-putting, but after the first chapter it became more comfortable.  He also includes recommendations for further reading and putting the principles to work in your own life.  As he says "Start now. The ball's in your court..."

    I'm also a big fan of the TED talks.  We believe that we should work to be happy, but could that be backwards? In this fast-moving and entertaining talk, psychologist Shawn Achor argues that actually happiness inspires productivity.

      Did you know that to college students $5 looks like coffee?  At TEDxCambridge, Michael Norton shares fascinating research on how money can, indeed buy happiness -- when you don't spend it on yourself. Listen for surprising data on the many ways pro-social spending can benefit you, your work, and (of course) other people.

In No Particular Order...

   This week the focus is on diet.  Not weight loss, not going on a diet, but rather what is the optimal way to feed the only body we have been given.
      I have always been interested in food.  I love to cook and bake, but as I have gotten older, I have noticed that what I was putting in my body did not seem to be serving it very well.  My sleep was not great, I had been slowly gaining weight, and I felt tired all the time.  Something needed to change.
    Of course, I dived into research and this is what I found...

The China Study: The Most Comprehensive Study of Nutrition Ever Conducted and the Startling Implications for Diet, Weight Loss and Long-term Health 

    We all know that smoking is linked to lung cancer, but I was startled to find that the link between milk products and prostate cancer is just as strong.  This scientific study is so large it took 10 years to compile the findings.  Data was gathered on 367 variables from 6,500 adults.  Blood and urine samples. Measuring everything the families ate for 3 days.  The scope is mind- boggling and so are the results.  After reading this book, I gave up meat and most dairy immediately (sometimes butter creeps back in, we all have weak moments).

  Prevent and Reverse Heart Disease: The Revolutionary, Scientifically Proven, Nutrition-Based Cure

      At the same time Dr. Campbell was doing the China Study, Dr. Esselstyn was coming to the same conclusions in working with his patients.  As a practicing surgeon, he began to notice that many of our treatments for heart disease only relieved the symptoms, but left the problem in place to reemerge in a few months.  He created a trial to study the effects of a plant-based diet on heart disease.  The title says it all.  Not only did this diet slow the disease down, but in many cases, it was completely reversed.  In following his recommendations, I have noticed better sleep (sometimes), lost a few pounds, but most significantly, my monthly menstrual complaints (pain, irregularity, and did I mention, pain), which had begun to really affect my life in the past few years, have completely disappeared.  Amen to that!


My last two recommendations are movies.  The first is Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead.  It chronicles 2 men with a chronic autoimmune disease taking their lives back through juicing and eating a plant based diet.  I love how forthright, but also funny the film maker is.  He takes complete responsibility for his health and will do whatever it takes to reclaim his life.  Here's the film on YouTube.

   My final pick for the week is Forks over Knives.  The film is a great overview of the research supporting a plant based diet.  There are interviews with both of the authors listed above and many others.  If you want to dabble your toes in the ocean of information supporting a new way of looking at food, this is your beginning.  It is available on Netflix or for $3.99 on YouTube.

     Good luck and remember, eat to live, don't live to eat.

In No Particular Order...

  Spend any time with me and you are bound to hear the phrase, "I am reading the most interesting book ..."  followed by how the particular book can shed light on whatever it is we are talking about.  The discussion generally devolves into a search for pen and a scrap of paper to jot the title and author.  This is invariably lost in the depths of a pocket or purse. So here it is, in no particular order, a list of the books, videos and articles that are influencing me this week...





God: A Story of Revelation  By Deepak Chopra

    Have you ever wondered what it was like to meet a saint?  To talk with someone who interacted with God on a daily basis?  Deepak Chopra has.  Each chapter is devoted to a great spiritual leader, from Job to Julian of Norwich to Rabindranath Tagore.  He reveals the story behind the story for each of these great leaders.  It has introduced me to several great thinkers that I only knew in passing and also reveals the underlying structure in our story of divine revelation as seen by Chopra.

The Maslow Business Reader Edited by Deborah C. Stephens

Maslow was standard fare in the leadership courses I took at the Naval Academy, but somehow I just applied his pyramid to those I lead, not myself.  This book has really helped me to see where in my life my needs are fulfilled, and why I am unhappy with some of the things that I have that everyone wants (hint: look to the base of the pyramid)

      This TED talk from Nicholas Christakis describes how social networks (the ones in the flesh and blood world, not Facebook) can help detect epidemics earlier than ever.  It made me wonder why I ever wanted to be popular because the people with the strongest social networks (which I think probably describes me) are most likely to catch the flu earliest.  As I am working through my third cold of the year, I do begin to wonder...

Power vs. Force

    Last night, much as I hate to admit it, I was on YouTube watching cat videos.  If my day has not had quite enough laughter, this is the sure cure.  My first cat, Farley, was the wedding gift that kept on giving.  She's the orange one on the right.  The gray and black kitten is Charlie. (Yes, the names are almost to precious for words, I was young).  Back to the cat videos. Among the cute kittens and the explanations of Schrodinger's cat (a physics mind experiment that I liked until I realized they kill the cat), there was a perfect demonstration of the difference between being powerful and being forceful.
      I was given the book Power vs Force, by a friend in 2005 and been fascinated ever since.  The book describes the different levels of emotion and thought moving from completely powerless (shame) through forceful (fear, desire, anger and pride) to the power that does not need to force it's views on others (love, joy, peace and enlightenment).  I use this awareness in daily life to change the things I'm going to do anyway (the dishes and making dinner) into acts of love and happiness.  If you are walking fast to do errands, why not do it with a smile on your face?

    What is so interesting about this movie is the calm cat.  The deer is stomping and doing other threat displays.  The cat just watches, only moving when necessary to stand it's ground.  The perfect demonstration of how to stand up to bullies.
     The cat is intrinsically powerful mentally, though clearly outclassed physically.  It is such a great thing to remember in daily life.  The person who is well off is not the one with the most money, she is the one with the most peace. One of my favorite quotes from the book...

Facts are accumulated by effort, but the truth reveals itself effortlessly...This book will have been successful if by the end of it you exclaim, "I always knew that!"

Who Am I Now?

    So often we look at a challenge and say, "I can't (or won't) do that!"  Insert whatever you would like for "that."   Unfortunately I say this all the time in the back of my head.  The front, active part of my mind embraces challenges, signs up for new classes, tries the new things.  The back of my mind digs its heels in.  I found the perfect image on Flickr from Velo abzug.

   This little guy's face describes how I feel sometimes.  I want to hike instead of run.  I want to let go of my childhood books.  I want to learn how to really use my voice.  The list is endless, but interesting.  What I love about energy healing is that I learn to use different techniques to overcome my inner square wheel.

     Recently (okay, yesterday), I went through most of the books in our house to find a large group to get rid of.  The recent influx of furniture has moved a large bookshelf into my son's room and made a need in the basement to store some family heirlooms.  The books had to go.  In my searches, I found one of my favorite  childhood books. Crispan Magicker by Mark M Lowenthal, published in 1979.

    Of course, I reread the book and looked the author up on Wikipedia.  This was the author's only fantasy novel.  His other works were about U.S. Intelligence and, of all things, the t.v. show Jeopardy.   Talk about change and finding a new path.  What if our reluctance to find a new path leaves us stuck in fantasy land?

   Today's yoga class was challenging.  I asked students to look at the world in a new way.  We did a variety of twists and hip openers that were not easy.  I hate to admit the number of times where I said "Do this, I'll watch."  Let's just say that I love to keep all my problems in my hips and I love to have students who can do the things I describe!  In my home practice (and in my home life), I use techniques like relaxation and Jin Shin Jyutsu to help me change.  Here's a link to the two techniques.  Nothing is complete alone, we all need help.  Let me know if these work for you.

A Yoga Apologist

    I'm not sure if this term is used anywhere outside of the Catholic Church, but, someone who explains the faith is called an apologist.  Google defines it as

Noun: A person who offers an argument in defense of something controversial.
Synonyms: defender

    As a regular churchgoer and a yoga teacher in a church basement, I have often felt like an apologist.  Not that I am apologizing for yoga, rather that I am explaining it, making it more approachable.  I have often felt rather less than successful.  So far, not one person who has thought yoga might be a religion in disguise has ever come to a single class.
     Today I was rereading  Eat Right for Your Type by Dr. Peter D'Adamo and I realized, he is a great apologist for yoga.  Here it is:

...some patients have told me that they are concerned that adopting yoga practices may conflict with their religious beliefs.  They fear that the practice of yoga implies that they have adopted Eastern mysticism.  I respond, "If you eat Italian food, does that make you Italian?"  Meditation and yoga are what you make of them.  Visualize and meditate on those subjexts that are relevant to you.  The postures are neutral; they are just timeless and proven movements."

    Such a calm, rational, and coherent explanation.  Hope I remember it next time I am asked.   If not, I'm hiring his ghost writer to follow me around....  Be Blessed (and happy!)
 

Pain Free!

                There are days where I think “How did I ever end up here?”  When I graduated from the U.S. Naval Academy in 1988, not in my wildest dreams did I ever see myself as a wife, mother or even wilder- a reiki master. I was an officer and an engineer.  I love real, tangible things, yet here I am spending all of my time with the reality of the unseen.

                To help one of my most recent clients, I really had to dig through the dusty archives of my memory (and the even dustier basement) to unearth what I was looking for.  What I found was Pain Free: A Revolutionary Method for Stopping Chronic Pain by Peter Egoscue. As I reread the book it was such a great trip down memory lane.  This was the beginning of my explorations into alternative medicine.

                On Martin Luther King Day in 1989, my husband and I had a head on collision with a bus that left both of us with long term aches and pains.  I had found temporary relief from many sources, but by 2001 I was spending as much time as possible on the couch.  There was nothing more to be done short of surgery.  I knew that this was note for me, but where was I to go.

                As always, my first stop was the library. I read through the pain management, anatomy, yoga moving on to psychology (just in case it was all in my head).  In this search I found Pain Free.  The idea that all I had to do to relieve the pain was 30 minutes of exercises per day was unbelievable.  I spent the summer on the deck (listening to a Harry Potter novel) putting my hips back in alignment.

                I am a big fan of western medicine for acute injuries, but before you have the hip replaced, the bones shaved or the next shot into the nerve, check out this book and try the exercises for a few weeks.  All it cost me was a bit of time, but it gave me my life back.

8 Best Ways to Exercise Your Brain

Here it is the most asked about list from 2011, for my students friends and fellow meditators in one easy to access list. From How God Changes You Brain by Andrew Newberg, M.D. and Mark Robert Waldman, the eight best ways to exercise your brain (finally an excuse to yawn freely in public):

8) Smile- “The mere act of smiling helps to interrupt mood disorders and strengthen the brain’s neural ability to maintain a positive outlook on life.”

7) Stay Intellectualy Active- “Nearly every age-related cognitive disability is related to the functioning of your frontal lobe.” Interestingly enough, math and crossword puzzles don’t seem to help, but reading, writing, playing chess or going to a museum do.

6) Consciously Relax- “[Deliberately] scan each part of the body to reduce muscle tension and physical fatigue.”

5) Yawn (!)- “It quickly brings you to a state of cognitive awareness.” There are many studies cited in the book, but my favorite is anecdotal. I was driving home from an all day Speech and Drama competition on a narrow country road, full of twists and turns (and ateep drop offs). I was exhausted and always have a hard time seeing well. I was so afraid, I just started yawning over and over to see if it would help. It did improve my awareness and even my perception of the road. Best of all, I am still here to write this post!

4) Meditate- “Visualization, guided imagery, and self-hypnosis are specific variations of meditation and are equally effective in maintaining a healthy brain.

3) Aerobic Exercise- “Vigorous exercise strengthens every part of the brain.”

2) Dialogue With Others- “Dialogue requires social interaction, and the more social ties we have, the less our cognitive abilities will decline.”

1) Faith- “Faith is equivalent to hope, optimism, and the belief that a positive future awaits us. Faith can also be defined as the ability to trust our beliefs, even when we have no proof that such beliefs are accurate or true.”

Enjoy!

How to Use Pendulum

                I first learned to use a pendulum in 2008. It is impossible to be more precise because it literally took the entire year.  The darned thing just wouldn’t work for weeks, then only in fits and starts.  Looking back on it I waver between impressed with my persistence and embarrassed by the insanity.

                There are many methods to teach pendulum use and theories behind how it works.  This technique is from The Pendulum Book by Hanna Kroeger.  She has chapters about how and why the pendulum moves.  My purpose is to guide a beginner in its use.

                First, embrace beginners mind. This is an attitude of openness, eagerness, and lack of preconceptions when studying a subject.  A child first crawls, learns to stand then gradually moves on to walking and running.  When the baby falls on its soft diaper, sometimes he is frustrated, but often he laughs.  Think of beginners mind as a cushion to fall back on when you fall.

                A pendulum can be any weight on a string or chain.  Many people use crystals, Hanna began with her wedding ring. For our purposes, I’ll describe using my pendulum, see the picture above.  If you’d like to buy one, drop me an email.  They are $21.19 with tax, plus shipping.  Hold the ring at the top of the chain in your dominant (right hand if you are right- handed) hand between thumb, forefinger and middle finger.  Bring it over the middle finger of the non-dominant hand (left middle finger if you are right handed) and ask “Show me my yes.”  Whatever motion the pendulum makes is your yes.  There is not one universal yes and no.  Each person is unique.

                To discover your no, hold the pendulum over your non-dominant index finger and ask “Show me my no.”  Again, whatever motion the pendulum makes is your no.

                If the pendulum stays dead still, put it aside and stand with your feet apart.  Stretch your left arm to the north and your right arm to the south and stand this way a minute or two.  Hanna says that this will increase the magnetic forces flowing through you from north to south.  After you finish, brush down the body with your hands several times, from head to feet.  Now try your pendulum again.  Most importantly, be patient.  It will come.

                How to improve? Like everything else, practice.  Hanna recommends starting with organic and conventionally grown fruit or vegetable and ask the following questions. Hold the fruit or vegetable over your solar plexus and ask:

                “Does this fruit have a toxin in or on it?”

                “Can this toxin be neutralized or removed?”

                “If I soak the fruit in cider vinegar, will the toxin be removed?”

                “If I set the fruit on a Soma board for 10 minutes, will the toxin be neutralized?”

                Move on from there, play a bit, and develop your confidence.  Learning to use the pendulum can make your life so much easier.

The Force is Strong in this One

               So, you’ve taken your first reiki class, now what to do with your new found abilities? And when do you start feeling the reiki like your teacher said you would? And what about the next class level?

                Expanding your reiki capabilities is no different than any other skill.  As Lily Tomlin said when asked “How do you get to Carnegie Hall?” “Practice!”

                I heard the best piece of advice yesterday from one of my students.  We were talking about learning to use a pendulum and the importance of daily practice.  Her suggestion was link it to a habit.  It can be anything you do daily from brushing your teeth to washing the dishes to scooping the cat box. Decide you will do a bit of reiki each time you make the bed.  Actually, I use the reiki to clear the bed as I make it each morning and the basement as I clean the cat box.  Put reiki into the food that you cook.  Start small with just one habit, give the reiki each day for two weeks then expand as far as you like.

                One of my favorite ways to practice is to pick one thing in my life that I would like to support, or change for the better, and give it reiki for 10 minutes a day.  This practice began last year during the Lenten season and completely remade the relationship that received the reiki.  What a gift that was.

                Like-minded people make doing anything easier. Find a reiki share.

  It is one of the few places where you are not the only crazy person in the room.  It is an opportunity, with little or no cost, to both give and receive reiki, not just whatever friends and family members you can talk into a session.  Each person uses reiki in their own unique way so it is a great way to learn other techniques.

                Years ago, I left my Reiki 1 class slightly irritated about the ease and confidence of JoAnn, my teacher.  It felt so unapproachable and progress so intangible.  Now using reiki is like breathing, an automatic thing that can be done intentionally.  Someday I may just practice reiki in Carnegie Hall.