Last night I had the most amazing realization. This December 7th, Pearl Harbor Day, my father in law turns 93. I never really thought about it much, it was just a number, right?
I am 47, this means that my father in law is almost twice as old as I... So everything that I have done, being born, going to school, serving in the Navy, marriage for 24 years, raising two children who are now off to college, that's only half of his life! Seriously, who knew?
From National Geographic, May 2013
I have been doing lots of research into longevity and happiness this past year. It's not so much that I want to live forever, but I do want to be vigorous and happy. What I'm looking for is captured in the picture at left. It is of Rae Kline at age 83. The caption in the magazine says "'A perpetual motion machine' is how Kline, of Solana Beach, California, describes herself. An early advocate of yoga in the U.S., she demonstrates knees-to-ears pose. Her daily exercise includes a mile swim, and hour of biking, and a four mile beach walk."
That's what we are talking about.
Okay, so far I still can't do this pose, but I am ready keep trying and embrace the exuberance that I see in her life. Want to join me?
I had the most interesting experience attending yoga class Friday. It was a great class, but as is usually the case, the student (yes, me) didn't just learn the lesson that the teacher taught, but rather what she was ready to hear (finally).
Today was a rainy foggy day. It took a full hour to drive the 22 miles to class. On the way there I kept thinking how nice it would be to do a class full of heart opening poses and meditations. November has been a full month with both highs and lows, and my heart could use some help.
I was late, so had to wait outside until the chanting and meditation were over. Fortunately, I go to class with my Mom, so she had saved a space for me. I unrolled my mat and began class. One of the students who had been on time must have asked for heart openers, because she began the class I desired.
Our instructor, Wendy, is a great teacher. She carefully sequences classes and adds thoughtful observations. I began to notice that as my heart grew more open, my chest and shoulders expanded and my neck began to complain. Not only did it hurt, but it said 'if you don't stop now I am going to have my revenge soon.' Let's just say my neck has quite a personality.
Fallen caryatid carrying an urn
Auguste Rodin
I felt like Rodin's Caryatid, crushed under the weight of the building she was trying to hold up. I finally gave up on class and laid down on the floor for seriously early savasana. Now I always tell my students to stop when they need to, but in my heart I was wishing to finally get to do all things. Here I am, however in the body I have it it just can't, yet. So everyone else around me continued with the class and I lay down.
Laying down in savasana, as a teacher, I always talk about how it puts together the class, settles it in the body. In moving, I had felt this deep resistance inside my shoulder to letting go. I've done a lot of traveling to and from my in laws and seeing my father in law who has dementia. I have lots of issues inside that shoulder and it didn't seem to want to let go.
I just laid down on the floor in a receptive posture. It took a long time for everything to relax down into the floor. When it did, I intellectually poked around into this resistance in my shoulder and in my heart. Usually I feel that resistance because there are things that I haven't really admitted that I am thinking. As I spent time with it feelings arose.
Part of it was this deep sorrow for my father in law, who is in no way living the life he wanted for himself, although now he's actually pretty content. Dementia seems to be a pretty happy place for him because he has let go of his worries. My inner concern is a bit selfish, but I couldn't help feeling that if he were my age (which he was at one time) this is not where he would want to be.
When I looked deeper into my heart I realized that I also felt lost, like a child running around a huge department store who cannot find her parents. This is his path and it is not my job to fix it, though I do so love fixing things.
In this case the 'a ha!' moment did not lead to resolution, just awareness. Now, what to do? I imagined that I was a child and sat on God's lap and leaned my head in and let myself feel sad and lost. When I felt His love come towards me, that good feeling was too big a leap. I wasn't ready to feel good. I thought maybe I'll just rest, rather than receive all that love. When you are down, the step up to content is leap enough.
Then I just... rested.
What's funny is my shoulder hurts more now, because it has more mobility and the muscles have been so tightly clenched they don't want to deal with the freedom. In the last two days I have spent time meditating and relaxing to solidify the gains. Nothing makes the situation better, but at least now I am not making it worse.
It was a very, very interesting savasana.
My next missive from the road came from October's National Geographic. There was a wonderful photographic story to promote animal rescue. Theron Humphrey rescued a coonhound named Maddie to travel with. He discovered she had a talent for perching, on practically anything. Here is his website with all of the Maddie photos.
Of course, I swooned over the pictures of the cute dog doing anything to please her master. As I looked more I realized that Maddie is the outward representation of what we all do. We take what life brings us, conform to the shape of it while doing our best to remain authentic to who we are deep inside.
I have been child, student, teen, midshipman, naval officer, mother, teacher, quilter, healer and more, all the while remaining Pam. When I no longer fit and the parts start to spill outside the case, it's time to try a different instrument. There are so many to try.
Hello my friends, sorry about the long absence. I have had the opportunity to do a lot of traveling this fall, but have not quite figured out how to post from the road. I have a huge stack of clippings, notes and pictures for future sharing. Our first destination is Montreal, Canada.
One of my first lightbulb moments was walking up Mont Royal. Now, I'm pretty sure that at 764 feet is is a hill, not a mountain at all, but walking up, it felt like mountain enough for me. One of the first things that I noticed was the beautiful stone works and steps. There were beautiful cobblestone gutters to divert the rain, steps to preserve the hillside and a gravel road for the cars. Many people were using the rockworks for their daily run and, of course, there were those of us who were strolling. It was lovely and friendly.
When I looked more closely at the gutters, it sparked an interesting thought. All of this work to funnel the rainwater was an effective means of preventing erosion. It reminded me of how the mind works. There are mental paths that I take to create supper, clean house, work with clients, deal with unpleasant memories. All of them working to make daily life a bit smoother and easier on me. Some of them are carefully crafted and work well; others, not so much...
I like the ease of going to the fridge, seeing what's inside and crafting a meal. I like to turn on a good book on tape and cleaning the heck out of a room. I love to work with clients. This dealing with the past thing could use improvement.
I see life as a work in progress, always striving to use my talents better and shed the attitudes and ideas that no longer serve me. This fall has felt like a struggle against negative traits, while all along the observer in my mind has been saying "those are gifts."
Back to my 'mountain.' As I got closer to the top, the carefully crafted channels went from cobblestone to rough rocks to completely non- existent. The path was actually eroding. It reminded me of the areas in my life that need more work.
We create this careful crafted day that serves us for a time, but then the kids go off to school, the house changes, the business focus shifts and life needs to be reshaped to fit. At first it is daunting and seems to take forever with all sorts of little things that used to be great slipping away. And the bits that you dislike become more prominent, capturing attention. Seriously, I've been working this long and here is where I am?
In that moment of irritation is the possibility of great change. The revelation of the road. As I walk this road I am continually surprised by what I believe deep down and how changeable these deep beliefs are. Now, I did not say it was easy, but really, who knew? Now is time to dig the rain gutters higher up in the mountain.
Author's note:What is interesting about this post is how the pictures look completely different in this post than when they were originally full screen. If I were presented just these pictures, the story I would write is very different. Also, I wrote the post a month ans a half ago. As I transcribe from my notebook, it feels wrong (or perhaps, inauthentic) because I have moved to a completely different place in the intervening time. It's a bit hard to post, but still feels authentic to where I was... It's something I have noticed in all of my journals and in reviewing this blog. There are moments of truth I love to relive, nuggets of wisdom that I have forgotten and the bewilderment that I ever thought that way. I guess it's how you measure growth. Hope you enjoy, Pam
Recently I have been barraged by information by and about G. K. Chesterton who according to Wikipedia was an English writer, lay theologian, poet, dramatist, journalist, orator, literary and art critic, biographer, and Christian apologist. From a wonderful article in Commonweal, to bible study references, to the documentary I am, he seems to be everywhere. I've begun to feel that is man must have something to teach me.
It all came together a few days ago when I was on a long drive alone. I was thinking about my fears about singing in public. Probably not a good place to dwell, but definitely a place that I need to visit before I have to sing a solo at church in a few weeks. The words are very meaningful to me:
O Word of God, come into this space. O Word of God, come send us your grace. Open our minds, show us your truth. Transform our lives anew.
So I'm going to sing this. In front of everyone. How to get through it?
When one feels fear, anger is a step up, a more powerful emotion. So I think about the government shut down and all of the people who don't understand social justice who go to my church. I get all self-righteous that those are going to be the people who's minds God opens and transforms.
Immediately it hits me. It is my attitude that needs to be transformed. I apologize to my fellow parishioners, then think back to the Chesterton story that I fell in love with:
“When a newspaper posed the question, ‘What’s Wrong with the World?’ the Catholic thinker G. K. Chesterton reputedly wrote a brief letter in response: ‘Dear Sirs: I am. Sincerely Yours, G. K. Chesterton.’ ” –Timothy Keller, The Prodigal God (New York: Dutton, 2008), 46.
I have good friends in Kenya on a dentistry mission, right at the time of a huge hostage standoff in a Nairobi Mall. Thank God for the modern phone system so I know they are safe, but there is still an overwhelming fear for them. I look at what they are doing and at the same time my life. Is it worth it? As Jesus said (Matt 26:11) "you will always have the poor among you," in other words, there will always be another toothache. Is the work we see in the picture worth the risk.
I actually wasn't even aware of why I felt down until I looked at my list of thoughts for this post, all of them were about one or two people living their lives for an obscure cause or group of people, all in Africa. I've been absolutely riveted to the series the Long Way Down, where Ewan McGregor and Charley Boorman travel by motorcycle from Scotland to Cape Town. It wasn't about the bikes for sure, I've seen way too many horrific accidents among my friends. It is all about the small stories of the people they met. years. To raise one adult black rhino. One. How do you measure the worth of your days?
waiting line for the dentist
One of the men was part of a two man team that were raising a baby black rhino. It's mom was blind, so could not care for the baby. They worked toe and toe shifts, sleeping right next to the baby rhino, feeding it a bottle every 3 hours. The care would continue for 4-7
Later there was the story of the two HIV positive parents who followed the protocol and gave birth to an HIV negative child. Do you mourn for the dead who only go to the witch doctor or rejoice for the living child?
Then the well spoken woman who took care of HIV orphans, teaching the origin of the disease and how to avoid it. She looked very satisfied with her life and sure it was a good thing to do.
All of these things are important and valuable and remind us that beauty and grace are in all of the small moments in life, not in the Nobel Peace Prize or being awarded a TED talk. Are they worth the danger? If it's my life, I always say sure. When it is my friend's life that I have no control over, well, that's a much harder proposition. Good thing they make their own decisions. God Bless to all
This week is devoted to only one book Drop Dead Healthy: One Man's Humble Quest for Bodily Perfection by A.J Jacobs. In short, what a fun, funny way to review all sorts of medical advice. I finished the book in 2 days and laughed the whole time. I had to keep hiding the book so I would go to bed on time or do some other work. What better recommendation could you ask for?
This 2 year odyssey was so far-ranging, I couldn't even figure out how to review it. So, as any good Navy person would do, I cheated (cooperate and graduate). This review is by 'takingadayoff' from the Amazon.com website:
"Magazine writer A.J. Jacobs calls it "experiential journalism." He takes on seemingly ridiculous, yet intriguing, challenges. He reads the entire Encyclopedia Britannica. He lives the Bible, even the apparently trivial parts, such as not shaving your face. He outsources his life to a team of personal assistants in India.
He learns along the way and shares his discoveries. It's very entertaining. Jacobs has an easygoing and, for someone who writes almost exclusively in first person, surprisingly non-egotistical style. He works hard at his projects, preparing ahead, and doing research throughout. He's a real pro at being an amateur.
In his latest undertaking, he attempts to become healthy. This is more difficult than it sounds. He plans to go from slightly overweight and out of shape to heroic fitness. And that's not all. He also intends to improve the condition of all of his body parts: skin, nose, hands, etc. All this in two years!
One of the first roadblocks he runs into is the sheer volume of information and theories on how to be fit. The second obstacle is that much of the information is contradictory. There is no agreed upon, guaranteed path to health. Even trusted experts don't agree with one another.
But the main impediment to super health is self control. No surprise there. Jacobs manages to overcome the problem with a variety of methods. When he has trouble giving up a favorite snack, he writes a large check to the American Nazi Party and vows to mail it next time he gives in to temptation. He finds this kind of negative motivation very powerful.
Another trick that works for Jacobs, though not as dramatically effective as the negative motivation, is to digitally age a photo of himself (there's an app for that) so that he can better imagine himself in the future. Being able to picture his future self ("old A.J.") helps him to stick to his goals.
He also finds inspiration in two examples in their nineties - his own grandfather who remained involved in community affairs long after his formal retirement, and fitness expert Jack La Lanne, who kept a busy professional schedule, spreading the word about healthy living, right to the end."
In short, what a fun, funny way to review all sorts of medical advice. I finished the book in 2 days and laughed the whole time. I had to keep hiding the book so I would go to bed on time or do some other work. What better recommendation could you ask for?
In this season of change, I have come to several conclusions. Unfortunately for my blog, I could not put them into words. Well fortunately for me, the Dalai Lama took care of one. I've been reaching for a way to explain discernment among opportunities. So much 'save the world' work is wonderful, but is it always the best use of your time?
As a veteran 'I'm going to save everyone' person, I knew that was not true. My mentor always says 'go for the low hanging fruit,' which sounds great, but figuring out which fruit that is can be problematic.
Today I was watching a documentary "I am," on Netflix (more about this wonderful movie tomorrow). One of the people interviewed was Elisabet Sahtouris, who had spent some time on tour with the Dalai Lama. Here is her paraphrase of him when asked "What is the best thing we can do?"
"Critical thinking followed by action." Discern the what your world is. Notice the plot, the scenario of this human drama and then figure out where your talents might fit in to make a better world. And each of us must do something that makes our hearts sing, because nobody will want to do it with us if we are not passionate and inspired.
My ikigai is to make each meeting matter, no matter what I am teaching or doing. What is yours?
This year has been the year of letting go, from sending the boys to college to releasing old anger to changing how I see everyone I meet. The empty nest and cleaning up my old baggage are topics for other times, today's thoughts are about seeing each person as a gift to be opened. So many sages say be childlike in your appreciation of the world, from Jesus (Matt 19:14 "Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.") to Rumi (Chew quietly your sweet sugarcane, God-Love, and stay playfully childish.), but how to find that in my regular life?
I've been given many examples this year, as if this was one of the biggest lessons for me to learn, right now! My current favorite is what a good friend told me this week over coffee. She has a beautiful, pure simplicity of spirit that is such a great antidote for my way too serious approach.
I can't remember what we were talking about, but I asked her how she kept the awareness of God in her everyday life. She said that as she walked the dog or ran errands, she talked to everyone as if they were a person and made them smile. At first I completely dismissed what she said (how embarrassing!). This is way too easy. I do that all the time. It's what I love, surely there must be more?
Just a few minutes later I realized that ease of talking to people is a gift, which means I was given it to better the world around me. I don't have to start a religious organization or a major charitable foundation to make the world a better place, just talk to the bank tellers, the librarians and the baggers at the grocery, all of my favorite people in the world. Now I know I've said this both here and here, but I am a very slow learner of the obvious.
Who knew, just being myself is enough. The picture above is from Easter five years ago. My niece is completely happy with her dress, white shoes and a few Easter eggs. It is the little things we do that creates the big changes we all hope for. I hope you have a great week, just being the divinely created child you already are.
One thing I love about life is that the more observant I am, the more interesting life is. It may be about why the birds are nesting right there in my flowers or why everyone reacts differently to the same occurrence. There is always something to make me question. Like, is the picture at left a self-portrait, or is it just the forest floor?
This act of observation is so important when you are gauging progress. Unlike building a house, baking a cake or making a quilt, self-improvement has few physical, quantifiable results. I do all this "work," sometimes don't feel any different when I finish, but then I start to notice how differently I feel or behave. My mentor calls it "gathering evidence."
I'll give you an example. One of my current "works in progress" is to be internally justified, to look only inward and upward for opinions. To put it bluntly, I cared way too much about what everyone else thought about me and let that care rule my actions. It was high time to take my life back. In a combination of a Brain Gym balance (with homeplay- a daily practice to reinforce the goal) and reiki, I have made great strides.
Here is where it gets curious. Recently I have been to several large gatherings of people I really enjoy and have known for some time. I found myself getting irritated with lots of people, not just one or two. Why was that? I like these people, right?
What I discovered after sitting with the question was, yes, I like these people. Before the work, rather than admitting they were human and did irritating things (which we all do), I had suppressed my feelings and made them perfect. I wanted to get along so much that I wasn't honest with myself.
This being internally justified requires generosity, allowing everyone to be there own crazy self, while staying true to my own crazy self. Being authentic allows others to be so as well. As Rumi said "Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it."
Let me just start with, I love crazy people! People who go their own way, do their own thing and bring back interesting lessons to us. Colin Wright definitely qualifies. Every four months he moves to a new country that is chosen for him by his blog readers- no kidding, doesn't even choose the place himself. I just love it!
After seeing his TED talk, I was poking around his website and came upon his book Personal Branding, subtitled "The least you need to know." As indicated by the subtitle it is a light, funny overview of personal branding from self assessment to grooming. I just had to share with you his description of the wrong crowd.
"...it can be equally important not to get sucked in to a bad crowd. A bad crowd consists of anyone who will bring you down personally or professionally. This includes business associates with bad reputations, frenemies who like to see others fail so they look better by comparison, significant others with incurable emotional issues, and anyone who has ever stabbed you in the back. Always forgive, never forget and definitely don't let them back into your crowds."
This week my focus has been on organization and personal growth. Both of my boys are off to college and that set off a whole array of changes. I never realized how I used their schedules to orient my life until I started showing up late for everything (aak!). I needed to impose some structure to make all this freedom meaningful.
I started poking around the internet, looking for a few suggestions. My first stop was Lifehacker. It is a great website. They collect 'tips and downloads for getting things done.' The day I looked Bullet Journaling was the first tip, who knew?
The picture is a capture from the YouTube video about how to bullet journal. It is a very clear technique for capturing events, to dos, ideas and all of the things that make your life run smoothly. Ryder Carroll, the developer of the bullet journal, has given us the fruit of his personal quest for organization.
Pros: I love the use of different shapes and signifiers to designate tasks, events, ideas and urgency.
Cons: He depends on very small handwriting, the black is a bit boring, and I need more emphasis on goals and future planning.
This method is close to what I am looking for, but doesn't quite address all of my needs.
The other system that I really liked was the Women's Success Planner. It is a very well designed system with goal setting, monthly tasks and weekly focuses. Each quarter has a separate planner with loads of features. It is very well made with a woman's challenges in mind.
The only problem for me is how well organized it is. Right now I'm not quite sure what my life looks like, but I'm sure I want more flexibility.
With gratitude to both developers, I created my own system for the time being. It has the features I like from both, a numbered list of daily tasks, weekly and monthly goals, recycled paper and lots of colored pens. It has been fun turning the challenge of an empty nest into an opportunity to consciously invent my life. Here is the current result, can't wait to see what comes next.
For this post, the title says it all. I went to the doctor last week and discovered I am a whole inch taller (can you hear the wild crazy celebration on my end?). It all began a year and a half ago. I attended a workshop with Sianna Sherman that started an amazing transformation, and now I'm a whole inch taller (fireworks and great rejoicing!).
How did I do this, one might ask? It is both easier and harder than you think. Just put your mind on the base of your spine. Sounds easy, but look at Sianna in nataranjasana (lord of the dance pose) at the left. If I were to move into that pose without thinking, I'd put one arm up, one back and grab a foot. That is what it looks like, but not what it is. Nataranjasana is an expression of joy, of hiddenness, of openness that begins deep within the body and ends up looking like the picture.
We're going to explore the spinal focus in a much easier pose, tadasana (mountain pose), more commonly known as standing. If you look to the right, you'll see a spinal column with the different sections color coded. We are interested in the sacrum (yellow) and the coccyx or tailbone (blue).
Come into tadasana (mountain pose). Imagine that you can consciously move the energy in your spine. Notice the base of your spine. Let all of the energy in your sacrum rise up through the body. Allow all of the energy in the tailbone sink down through your legs. That's it. So simple, yet so profound.
What I have noticed is that as I rise the sacral energy (energy from the sacrum, not sacred, or holy energy), sometimes it feels like it gets stuck, or moves more slowly. If this happens for you, just be patient, allow the energy to bloom. Also, the tailbone energy can move more strongly in one leg or another. Usually this means I need to lift the heel of the "stuck" leg and move it out slightly to free things up.
The best thing about this practice is how easy it is to be so thoughtful. This can be done waiting in the checkout line at the grocery, answering emails, or any time you are standing around, as well as adding to your daily yoga practice.
Sianna Sherman
In the first month after the class, people began to remark on how good my posture was. After about seven months I began to notice that I was slumping when I talked to people to try to get my eyes at the level they used to be. After a year, I noticed I was hunching over the lectern to get my mouth back at the level of the microphone. At one year and 9 months from the class I am an inch taller!
Added side benefit: as I was writing this post I had the great idea to check my BMI online. The good news is that adding the inch pushed me from overweight to normal. Now, we all know this is just in my head. I'm the same person who walked into that doctor's office, but let me tell you she feels much better about herself.
If you'd like to learn more from this master teacher in the privacy of your own home, you can purchase her DVD, Pranam
(here's my review). The other big thing I learned in that class is in this post. Add this to your practice and enjoy growing taller with me!
As I mentioned yesterday, I took a wonderful class in July, Brain Gym 101. One of the things that made a deep impression on me was the emphasis on clarity in language. From the beginning of the class, Carolyn emphasised speaking in positive, clear ideas. One of my favorites is how when a student kept tripping up on trying to find a positive spin and just had to state something in a negative, "I can't..." way, Carolyn would add a "yet" to the end of the sentence ( "I can't keep my desk organized... yet").
Another thing she really pointed out was our use of the word "try." If you are "trying to," you are not doing. (Interesting side note, it shocked me listening to my beloved TED talks after I got home. Here are these accomplished people, speaking to other brilliant minds, but almost all of them use the word "try" to either describe their talk or their work. I guess all of us are uncertain and tentative at times.)
This message about language is so important to me, but also it seemed like one I might forget without teacher there to correct me. I had to figure out how to bring teacher home with me, but in a light hearted way. The picture below is of the wall opposite my favorite chair in my reiki room. I'm thinking I might remember.
Last week I took an amazing class! I can't recommend Brain Gym 101 with Carolyn Nyland enough. It was one of those things that arrived at the right time, with the right instructor and the right students. I was ready to hear and use all that was taught. What a gift.
As I saw my first client after the class, I was careful. I had played around with the material a lot, but didn't want to use it before I was ready, so I left all of the materials far away from my office (so I couldn't just slip it in). Let's just say that didn't work at all. It is such a great tool, that I had to go get the book and we spent most of the session using the Brain Gym movements to complement the other things that I use all the time. It was so much fun!
So what is this Brain Gym? There are lots of involved descriptions, with loads of jargon, all necessary for research, but for our purposes here is my favorite- "to live is to move." If I were to go on a bit longer, it is "a movement- based educational experience centered around twenty-six simple activities that recall the movements children naturally do during their first years of life as they learn to coordinate their eyes, ears, hands, and whole body."
What is so wonderful is the way adding Brain Gym exercises moves my sessions into "Pam territory." I had a major realization over 2012. I had been running someone else's practice, don't know who, but so much of what I was doing was not serving my clients. One day last winter I spent a few hours trying to define why my clients choose me, what they are looking for. The adjectives that I came up with are "playful, fun, generous, open, love and adorable." Darn it! I want to be serious and studious and all of those other words that garner respect. After spending the last 8 months with them on the wall of my office, I've come to realize that I love them, and this is where I am meant to be. Can you see why Brain Gym (or any other method of playing your way to health) is such a good fit?
I've looked for YouTube videos, but most seem geared toward children. Here is an adult version (word and pictures, with a Mozart selection from YouTube to play in the background as you awaken your brain.
With only one course under my belt, I am not certified (though perhaps, I'm certifiable...), and have no idea where the road leads but I'm loving skipping down it. That being said, I have a gift for you. Wouldn't it be wonderful if, any time you wanted it, your brain was working in tip top condition? Here is a great start from Brain Gym:
1. Energize: Have a sip of water
(Warning: Science Content- water supplies electrolytes that carry electrical potential across cell membranes, and this electrical exchange is essential to the functioning of the new neural networks being created as we learn)
2. Clear: Brain Buttons Place one hand over your navel. Make a "U" shape with the other hand and place your thumb and index finger in the small depressions just below your collarbone, about one inch to each side of your breastbone. Rub the points at your collarbone for about 30 seconds as you move your eyes slowly to the left and right along a horizontal line. Continue with the other hand.
(Warning: Science Content- by moving our eyes right and left into the periphery while holding points in the kinesthetic midfield, we restore our centralized vision as we satisfy the scanning- reflex impulse to look away from the midline.)
3. Active: Cross Crawl
Cross the midline of your body as you alternately move one arm and its opposite leg, then the other arm and its opposite leg. There are lots of variations, have some fun!
(Warning: Science Content- this exercise activates both sides of the body, firing the neural pathways in the left and right cerebral hemispheres. It also stabilizes the pelvis, while also mobilizing and stabilizing the shoulders. And hey, it feels great.)
4. Positive- Hook- ups
Cross your ankles. Next, extend your arms in front of you and cross one wrist (on the same side as your top ankle) over the other; then interlace the fingers and draw your clasped hands up toward your chest. Hold like this for a minute or more, breathing slowly, with your eyes closed and the tip of your tongue on the roof of your mouth as you inhale.
When ready, uncross your arms and legs. Put your fingertips together in front of your chest.
(You guessed it: Science Content- activates the vestibular system and balance- related muscles, supporting us in restoring equilibrium after emotional or environmental stress. It draws blood and attention away from the body's periphery and the fight or flight reflexes and back to the body's midfield, inhibiting reflexive behavior and supporting higher-order thinking and decision making.)
I hope you are still here with me. I know that was a lot of information (actually, my fingers are a bit tired from typing). Trust me, it is much easier to do than to read about. So, give it a try. Put on some instrumental music that you love and let your body move. Let me know how it works for you or if you have any questions.
This week's selections originated in a "mountaintop experience." I was sitting with my cat, Joy, meditating in the sunshine this winter. Between one moment and the next my perspective shifted completely. It was as if I could see my life and business from the outside. I realized the mistakes I had made in my business in 2012. I had been "selling" what I was interested in, not what drew clients to me. People come to my business for a light, happy healing and learning experience. It is all about fun and play.
Unfortunately, in some ways, I had forgotten how to play, what makes everything fun in life. So, like all people who have educated the play out of themselves, it was time to do a little research. Here are some of the results (and, leave me a message if you want more, I have loads of material):
From the clever cover (yes, the ball really is rubber) to brevity of the stories this book is a wonderful physical representation of the powerful ideas within. Through many examples, Kevin Carrol demonstrates how entrepreneurs in a wide variety of fields transformed their childhood play into thriving businesses. The variations allow the readers mind to work it's way back to early memories then project forward into their own lives. At first, I found the third person narrative format off-putting, but after the first chapter it became more comfortable. He also includes recommendations for further reading and putting the principles to work in your own life. As he says "Start now. The ball's in your court..."
I'm also a big fan of the TED talks. We believe that we should work to be happy, but could that be backwards? In this fast-moving and entertaining talk, psychologist Shawn Achor argues that actually happiness inspires productivity.
Did you know that to college students $5 looks like coffee? At TEDxCambridge, Michael Norton shares fascinating research on how money can, indeed buy happiness -- when you don't spend it on yourself. Listen for surprising data on the many ways pro-social spending can benefit you, your work, and (of course) other people.
I had an interesting thought a few
days ago sparked by a hole in my photo album.
I’ve been searching for pictures for my website and, though I've been
teaching yoga for years, there are only 4 pictures of me doing yoga and none at
all of my classes (the photo at left I call downward dog with upward cat). I realized I had never been satisfied by how
my body looked as I did yoga. Not that I
was embarrassed, I have no problems demonstrating anything. I just don't feel
photogenic. Aren't all yogis tall and
slender?
Now, this body has taught yoga
class every Tuesday for the last 9 and a half years, how could I be so
disrespectful of it? What if, rather
than considering the body mine, I look at it from the outside and think about
it as if it were someone else’s. What if
I treated my body like it was loaned to me by a friend? Think about how careful you are when driving
a friend’s car. It gets returned without
a scratch and the tank is full of gas, right?
So, if the body is a loaner, the
first thing we need to do is appreciate the gift. After all, how would my spirit express itself
without hands to type or a mouth to laugh?
It puts gratitude in a whole new light.
I can see the strength and endurance of the legs, the cleverness of the
hands, the pleasure of curly hair. Arm
balances are so easy in this body, and so is sitting on the floor. The neck hurts, so I should take better care
of it. It’s tired, I'll
give it a rest.
Isn't this mental shift
interesting? It’s like treating
ourselves the way we treat a beloved pet.
Ignore the slobber, appreciate the love.
This week try one yoga practice or one meditation session from this
point of view. It is remarkable.
Sometimes there is a person in your
life who just drives you crazy. There is
no way around it. The very act of them
breathing in a room you are in or sharing electrons on the computer just sets
you off. This is a good time to realize,
hey, maybe it’s me. That person may do
many things “wrong” and really need fixing, but the only thing we have power over is our minds and how
we react to people and situations.
Recently I have had this experience
with someone I see almost every day. It
seemed like they were always doing things specifically to hurt me or just being
inconsiderate. It got to the point where
just thinking about the person was enough to make my blood boil, not a good
situation for someone who “sells” peace of mind (through yoga, reiki and
meditation). This needed to be fixed.
I sat with the problem, meditated,
prayed, but couldn't see where my change was.
How was I to let go if I couldn't see what I was holding onto? When the cause is so difficult to determine,
I always look to reiki, because it flows to the place where it is needed without guidance. I decided that each time I got angry, or each
time I even thought about the problem, I would use the distance symbol to
connect to our relationship then send it reiki.
Let’s just say in the beginning,
over the course of a day I would give over 2 hours of reiki to this situation alone
(preoccupied? Oh no, not me. No,
never. Okay, so all the time…). The relief was almost immediate. Instead of living in frustration and anger, I
would move quickly into a state of flow and calm. It’s impossible to send reiki and stay
irritated. I hate to admit just how
often I sent reiki, but there it is.
I also decided that it would not be a “sit
down and get serious” kind of thing. I
sent reiki while driving, doing the dishes, walking around the house, cooking
dinner; all of the situations where the body is moving, but the mind is free to
drift.
I began to see differences in the
relationship after a few days. It was
easier to be together, decisions were made in common, I no longer went out of my
way to avoid them. Two weeks later, as I
type this, it is difficult to even remember what a deep funk I was in. Cheaper than therapy, eh? So, next time you feel this way, rather than
“fixing” the other, try taking it easy, living in love rather than marinating
in irritation. Just send a little
reiki.
This week the focus is on diet. Not weight loss, not going on a diet, but rather what is the optimal way to feed the only body we have been given.
I have always been interested in food. I love to cook and bake, but as I have gotten older, I have noticed that what I was putting in my body did not seem to be serving it very well. My sleep was not great, I had been slowly gaining weight, and I felt tired all the time. Something needed to change.
Of course, I dived into research and this is what I found...
We all know that smoking is linked to lung cancer, but I was startled to find that the link between milk products and prostate cancer is just as strong. This scientific study is so large it took 10 years to compile the findings. Data was gathered on 367 variables from 6,500 adults. Blood and urine samples. Measuring everything the families ate for 3 days. The scope is mind- boggling and so are the results. After reading this book, I gave up meat and most dairy immediately (sometimes butter creeps back in, we all have weak moments).
At the same time Dr. Campbell was doing the China Study, Dr. Esselstyn was coming to the same conclusions in working with his patients. As a practicing surgeon, he began to notice that many of our treatments for heart disease only relieved the symptoms, but left the problem in place to reemerge in a few months. He created a trial to study the effects of a plant-based diet on heart disease. The title says it all. Not only did this diet slow the disease down, but in many cases, it was completely reversed. In following his recommendations, I have noticed better sleep (sometimes), lost a few pounds, but most significantly, my monthly menstrual complaints (pain, irregularity, and did I mention, pain), which had begun to really affect my life in the past few years, have completely disappeared. Amen to that!
My last two recommendations are movies. The first is Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead. It chronicles 2 men with a chronic autoimmune disease taking their lives back through juicing and eating a plant based diet. I love how forthright, but also funny the film maker is. He takes complete responsibility for his health and will do whatever it takes to reclaim his life. Here's the film on YouTube.
My final pick for the week is Forks over Knives. The film is a great overview of the research supporting a plant based diet. There are interviews with both of the authors listed above and many others. If you want to dabble your toes in the ocean of information supporting a new way of looking at food, this is your beginning. It is available on Netflix or for $3.99 on YouTube.
Good luck and remember, eat to live, don't live to eat.
What makes you get up out of bed in the morning?
If your first thought is 'duh, the alarm clock', try going a little deeper. Do you leap out of bed with the idea that today will be a pleasure, doing what you love? Or is rising from bed a slower, more painful process?
On the islands of Okinawa, they have a concept that we don't even have a word for in English (like schadenfreude in German). It is called ikigai which can be loosely translated as "the reason to get up in the morning" or life purpose. I first heard about it in The Blue Zones: Lessons for Living Longer From the People Who've Lived the Longest. Here is the same concept on YouTube .
The concept has always made sense to me intellectually, but never in the context of my life. I've been a student, a naval officer, a mother, an employee, a volunteer but none of these 'jobs' were the reason to leap from bed. All of these things were what I do, not who I am. Let's just say the whole thing bugged me. This fisherman on Okinawa still relished fishing at 86; it was his ikigai. Where was mine?
It crystallized this week. I went onto the Authentic Happiness website and took the VIA survey of Character Strengths. The results were baffling. What a useless group of strengths. Here they are:
Appreciation of beauty and excellence
Spirituality, sense of purpose, and faith
Curiosity and interest in the world
Love of learning
Zest, enthusiasm, and energy
Doesn't it kind of look like a recipe for the eternal college student who has studied art, art history, divinity, and basket weaving? When I looked at it from the perspective of ikigai, it looked different. It became very clear. My reason to get out of bed in the morning was almost the same as my business mission statement (Creating a more peaceful world one satisfied client at a time). My ikigai is "make each meeting matter."
Not only does it make each person I meet a little happier, but it also is a continual challenge for my personal growth. Sometimes it's just easier to resent the person in line who is yelling at their kids or who cut me off in traffic rather than loving them into a better world. What is interesting is that I have been living by this "rule" for all of my life, but writing it down clearly was such a relief. Not only did it clarify some past decisions but it also freed me to be the person I have always been. Strange, but wonderful.
Now, a lot of you readers I only touch through these posts. To make this meeting matter, I need to provide interesting information in a clear manner that helps make your life better. I hope this post fulfills those criteria and helps you find your ikigai. The journey is worth it.
Spend any time with me and you are bound to hear the phrase, "I am reading the most interesting book ..." followed by how the particular book can shed light on whatever it is we are talking about. The discussion generally devolves into a search for pen and a scrap of paper to jot the title and author. This is invariably lost in the depths of a pocket or purse. So here it is, in no particular order, a list of the books, videos and articles that are influencing me this week...
Have you ever wondered what it was like to meet a saint? To talk with someone who interacted with God on a daily basis? Deepak Chopra has. Each chapter is devoted to a great spiritual leader, from Job to Julian of Norwich to Rabindranath Tagore. He reveals the story behind the story for each of these great leaders. It has introduced me to several great thinkers that I only knew in passing and also reveals the underlying structure in our story of divine revelation as seen by Chopra.
Maslow was standard fare in the leadership courses I took at the Naval Academy, but somehow I just applied his pyramid to those I lead, not myself. This book has really helped me to see where in my life my needs are fulfilled, and why I am unhappy with some of the things that I have that everyone wants (hint: look to the base of the pyramid)
This TED talk from Nicholas Christakis describes how social networks (the ones in the flesh and blood world, not Facebook) can help detect epidemics earlier than ever. It made me wonder why I ever wanted to be popular because the people with the strongest social networks (which I think probably describes me) are most likely to catch the flu earliest. As I am working through my third cold of the year, I do begin to wonder...
My next missive from the road came from October's National Geographic. There was a wonderful photographic story to promote animal rescue. Theron Humphrey rescued a coonhound named Maddie to travel with. He discovered she had a talent for perching, on practically anything. Here is his website with all of the Maddie photos.
Hello my friends, sorry about the long absence. I have had the opportunity to do a lot of traveling this fall, but have not quite figured out how to post from the road. I have a huge stack of clippings, notes and pictures for future sharing. Our first destination is Montreal, Canada.
by A.J Jacobs. In short, what a fun, funny way to review all sorts of medical advice. I finished the book in 2 days and laughed the whole time. I had to keep hiding the book so I would go to bed on time or do some other work. What better recommendation could you ask for?
(here's my review). The other big thing I learned in that class is in this post. Add this to your practice and enjoy growing taller with me!
1. Energize: Have a sip of water
Place one hand over your navel. Make a "U" shape with the other hand and place your thumb and index finger in the small depressions just below your collarbone, about one inch to each side of your breastbone. Rub the points at your collarbone for about 30 seconds as you move your eyes slowly to the left and right along a horizontal line. Continue with the other hand.
3. Active: Cross Crawl
. Here is the same concept on YouTube .
By Deepak Chopra
Edited by Deborah C. Stephens
