Make One Person Smile Today

today's ridiculous flowers

      I had a (hopefully) wonderful post mostly prepared, but somehow it just didn't feel right.  Thought I'd give you a picture of my ridiculous flowers and a few quotes.  What you can't tell from the picture is the colors are wildly unnatural.  There is even glitter on some of the flowers.  They make me so happy.  I never said I had class (my husband would tell you I am a cheap date).
      This is my vision of gratitude.  Start simple.  It is easier to be grateful for the sunrise or hot water on demand (or brightly colored flowers) than to come up with the big stuff.  There will always be a friend with cancer, the young child dying from a horrible car wreck, a fight with your spouse.  This feeling was captured completely in a book I just finished, In the Company of Others by Jan Karon.
        In a conversation about mothering challenging children, Father Tim, the main character, says "Healing (comes) as little drops of water, and never the mighty ocean when you need it..."  My crazy flowers were one of the drops of water that lift my heart every time that I see them.
         Over the past few months, I've been thinking and praying and meditating a lot.  This fall my youngest will go to college and like many soon to be empty nesters it is a good time examine where I am and what I am doing.  Over and over I get the feeling to be myself.  Be playful, be open, be creative. Don't worry, don't overplan, just relax.  Father Tim captures it again when he says "Wherever I am, He supplies a parish."  If I make one person smile today, my work is done.  God bless whoever sprinkled the glitter on my crazy flowers. :)

The Code to Joy

      Gratitude.  It's so "in" right now, hearing the word "gratitude" can be annoying.  It almost feels counter-intuitive.
       Over the years of working with clients and teaching both yoga and reiki, I have dabbled in affirmations and gratitude.  For many of my clients and students it feels false.  The affirmation "I am a succdessful and confident reiki practitioner"  feels like a lie when you really are anything but.  Trying to find gratitude when it feels like your world is crumbling apart feels like you are ignoring reality.
       Code to Joy: The Four-Step Solution to Unlocking Your Natural State of Happiness by George Pratt, Ph. D and Peter Lambrou, Ph. D reframes the idea of a gratitude journal in a way that really makes sense to me.  You begin by making an easy list of a dozen items.  Mine always begins with hot water (even after being back in the States for nearly 20 years, I am always grateful for hot water, and as much of it as I want!)

My gratitude journal.  I am working my way forward
from the back of my regular journal.

        Here's where it gets interesting.  The authors explain why and how this is beneficial... "What you are doing through this exercise is retrainin a portion of your brain called the reticular activationg system (RAS)... The RAS has been described as a "Google of the brain," a search engine that we literally program to pick relevant and useful bits of data... As you build your gratitude list, your RAS makes a subtle shift in it's hierarchy of priorities.  Rather than looking for what is wrong, you are programming your neural search engine to look for what is right."
         I love the idea of strengthening the "gratitude muscle."  When I go to a yoga class, I don't expect to learn a difficult move the first time I try.  I go home and practice, forming muscle memory of the correct way to move.  Gratitude journaling does the same thing to your brain.  Who knew?
       As we move ahead into this year of possibilities, why not add this practice into our lives?    maybe it is time to discard an old option, something that is not working for you, and devote 3 minutes each day to retraining your brain.  At worst, there are 3 minutes every day that you feel great.  At best, your whole outlook on life changes for the better.  I'll take option two.

The Gift of Each Dawn

     Yesterday I went to the movie "Les Miserables."   What a powerful movie!  I really enjoyed it, but what I noticed most was not the powerful performances or the beautiful visuals, but rather the memories that arose. It was such a different experience watching the movie as a 46 year old than reading and discussing it as a young adult.
      As a student I took years of French and loved literature classes (even audited Shakespeare the semester I took 26 credit hours...).  Lets just say I have studied Les Miserables in both English and French several times.  The thing that stood out the most, what I remembered from all of these studies was a disrespect of certain aspects of the story. In each classroom setting, the life story of Jean Valjean and his life long quest for redemption is subtly belittled.  At the time, I didn't even notice.  Now it is embarrassing how little I questioned authority.  Of course, the Naval Academy is not known for creating independent thinkers, rather, fine Naval officers.
      Yesterday, the kindness of the priest and Jean Valjean's continual efforts to become the man God created him to be feel just right.  Each morning as I lay in bed after waking up, I resolve to do better than yesterday.  Each dawn is a fresh start.
      Don't get me wrong.  These resolves can be dashed to bits in a few moments by life's harsher realities, but each morning I relish the opportunity to redeem yesterday's mistakes.

       Talk about a great beginning for the new year.  To realize, consciously, the gift of each dawn.  Here is a picture of today's.  I plan to do great things with it.

Let Me In!

 There has been a cardinal hanging around the choir area in our church for nearly a year.  In the springtime, when energy is high, the cardinal flies into the window, demanding entrance with her wings.  Now that we are deeply into fall, she sits and pecks at the window or hops around trying to get in.  These pictures are taken over the course of an hour. She is so persistent.
     The more I watched her, the more I began to identify with her.  This year has been the year of 'trying hard.'  Now, as we all know, the problem with trying means that you are not doing. I 'tried' to do things the way you are 'supposed' to do them.  I had high hopes, but lets just say 2012 has been a learning experience rather than a success.

      Back to the bird, not only did I love the bird for her persistence, but I really began to enjoy her company.  I had gone to church early and was waiting for practice.  I had a book, but it was cold and I was a bit lonely.  She brightened my day.  As I focused on her quest, I didn't notice the cold.
      She also made me think.  Two days before I had a business meeting about something I was dissatisfied with.  Now, I know in any relationship, both parties are responsible for the success or failure, but I just couldn't see what I was doing wrong.  Everything looked right on the surface.  I was working hard, what was wrong?  Turns out, I had a lot in common with the cardinal.

     This cardinal is never going to make it into church through these windows unless we break one of the panes.  The windows don't open.  If she flew around  to the front, we could let her in.  This business thing was a lot like that.  No matter how hard I flew at it, no amount of effort would get me where I wanted to go.  A redirection of effort has yielded immediate results.  Who knew?
      The best part of the story remains the pleasure the cardinal has given me in the course of the afternoon (and judging from the responses to my Facebook post, for many people over the year).  Yes, she gave me a lot to think about as well, but isn't it nice to know that even amidst our difficulties, we bring pleasure to others.  Making the world a brighter place is no small thing.
      If you look at life from a deathbed perspective (do I have good relationships with my family? was I kind to the grocery store check out lady? did I love the cat?),  my 2012 has been a success.  It is a good perspective to take because these are the permanent fixtures in life, not how much money we make, how much we weigh, or does this dress make me look fat.  I am so grateful for the lessons given to me by the 'unsuccessful' cardinal.  In my book, her 2012 was a grand success.

Nine Years! (and counting...)

    This morning we celebrated 9 years of yoga at Saint Timothy Church!  It has been such a blessing to me.  When I first began, I was brand new to teaching yoga.  I knew I had a lot to offer, but I was way intimidated by teaching adults.  To be honest, I have never gotten over my disbelief that people will do what I say.  Once in every class I think, "why are they listening to me?"  As a student, I know that if I have driven to the class, I'll do what the teacher says.  But these lovely people just keep showing up, Tuesday after Tuesday (450+ times!).  I am truly blessed.
      Another remarkable thing is how much I still need to learn.  Each time I practice on my own, attend a class or teach a class I learn something new.  Just this morning, I learned how to get deeper into Garudasana (eagle pose) from watching one of my students.  Who knew that if you lifted your top leg a little more, the whole thing gets easier (I'm definitely going to need to work on this one when no one is watching... like I said last Thursday, lately I've been having a falling down practice, not a standing practice).  When the teacher and student salute one another with a "Namaste" at the end of class, it is truly felt on both sides.  I have learned a lot from my students.  Thanks.

         What better way to say thank you than with gifts?  The table was full of sugar scrub and healing crystals for my faithful students.  Now, what I'd really like to have here is a picture of the food, but someone came to class unprepared (yes, that's me of course) and my phone's battery was dying.

          Later in the day, I had a meeting with the great folks at Netcrafters.   One of the topics we talked about was who my target audience is.  In the traffic jam on the way home I figured it out!  All of my students loved the red chile chocolate cookies-  these are my people.  If you want to join the tribe, here is the recipe (we like them so much we keep them frozen and only cook one serving at a time. It is not energy efficient, but it does save the expanding waistline).

Red Chile Chocolate Cookies
1 1/2 sticks butter
1 c. brown sugar
1/2 c. sugar
2 eggs
1 tsp. vanilla
dash salt
1 1/2 Tbsp. cayenne pepper
1/3 c. cocoa
1/2 tsp. baking soda
2 c. flour

Preheat oven 350.
Mix first 8 ingredients on low with a mixer until just blended.
Mix in baking soda and flour.  
Line cookie sheets with parchment paper.
Scoop dough into 1 Tbsp. balls and bake for 8-10 minutes.

Happy Thanksgiving!

from Blacksheepsite

2012 first pie

      Happy Thanksgiving! As I sit to write, the first pie is out of the oven with more to come. I just love a holiday all about food and family, from the families we were born in to the families that we create.   I was blessed to be born into a large crazy family.  My Grandma, Henrietta, lived with us 4 days a week, and this Norman Rockwell painting shows how she would cut the edges of the crust off the pie.  It was one of the great goals of my life to be able to hold that pie up and cut off the edges.  Thanks, Grandma.  Here is a picture of as her with the grandkids in 1973 (yours truly is sitting front and center in the yellow dress).

     Those families we create are next on my gratitude list. My little family began in Cincinnati (with just me), but over the years has grown.  I have cooked turkeys in Annapolis, the Philippines, Sicily, Florida, Cincinnati and Florence.  In each place there has been a wonderful gathering of people to share it with.  My favorite turkey was one in Sicily.  It was the first with one of those red buttons that pop to tell you the turkey is finished.  The darn thing stayed firmly in the turkey after three or four hours (it felt 5 hours...).  I actually called Mom back in the States.  Calm and collected, she said stop worrying, just shake the leg, see if it's loose.  Can you imagine getting a call from your frantic daughter six time zones away?  Thank God for my mom.

from Timing the Perfect Turkey

I also give thanks for all of the things I have learned this year and especially to my teachers:

•  JoAnn, Wendy, and Sianna in various classes
• my friends at bible study who continue to expand my mind
• my students; yoga, reiki and others
• most of all, my family, Greg, John, Daniel and Joan

My teachers also come to me through books.  From Pavel Tsatsouline, who teaches how real men stretch, to Steven Pinker, who proves the decline in violence, to Susan Cain, who taught me that I was an introvert, I am truly grateful. (By the way, her book got me interested in the Meyers Briggs personality test.  Turns out I am an INFJ which is only one percent of the population.  It explains a lot of things and frees me to be myself.  What a gift!)

from Carlos Flores, USNA class of 1988

     My next offer of gratitude is for those who serve our country in the military.  The definition for veteran: someone who has written a check, payable to “The United States of America”, for any amount up to, and including, their life.  This post from August is about our gift of Thanksgiving to the country of Grenada by invading in October of 1984. I am especially grateful for those who continue to serve, keeping our family gatherings possible through your service.
      A small side note of gratitude goes to my internet.   I have been having problems until this morning.  Let's just say I have 13 draft posts and four more rough ideas caught in the files of my computer.

From Tewksbury Rod and Gun

     One final note of gratitude goes to the beloved American Turkey, who gives his life annually that we might have a great dinner.
      If you would like the pleasure and health benefits of adding a bit of gratitude into your life, let me recommend Happy Rambles.  It is an online gratitude journal.  Each day they send and email requesting your entry and store your replies online. It makes you realize there are things to be grateful for every day.

P.S. I am truly grateful for my boys who are in the kitchen pealing and chopping potatoes so I can post on my blog.  I have been showered with blessings!  Happy Thanksgiving!