Just Send a Little Reiki

Sometimes there is a person in your life who just drives you crazy.  There is no way around it.  The very act of them breathing in a room you are in or sharing electrons on the computer just sets you off.  This is a good time to realize, hey, maybe it’s me.  That person may do many things “wrong” and really need fixing, but the only thing we have power over is our minds and how we react to people and situations. 

Recently I have had this experience with someone I see almost every day.  It seemed like they were always doing things specifically to hurt me or just being inconsiderate.  It got to the point where just thinking about the person was enough to make my blood boil, not a good situation for someone who “sells” peace of mind (through yoga, reiki and meditation).  This needed to be fixed.

I sat with the problem, meditated, prayed, but couldn't see where my change was.  How was I to let go if I couldn't see what I was holding onto?  When the cause is so difficult to determine, I always look to reiki, because it flows to the place where it is needed without guidance.  I decided that each time I got angry, or each time I even thought about the problem, I would use the distance symbol to connect to our relationship then send it reiki.

Let’s just say in the beginning, over the course of a day I would give over 2 hours of reiki to this situation alone (preoccupied? Oh no, not me.  No, never.  Okay, so all the time…).  The relief was almost immediate.  Instead of living in frustration and anger, I would move quickly into a state of flow and calm.  It’s impossible to send reiki and stay irritated.  I hate to admit just how often I sent reiki, but there it is.

 I also decided that it would not be a “sit down and get serious” kind of thing.  I sent reiki while driving, doing the dishes, walking around the house, cooking dinner; all of the situations where the body is moving, but the mind is free to drift. 

I began to see differences in the relationship after a few days.  It was easier to be together, decisions were made in common, I no longer went out of my way to avoid them.  Two weeks later, as I type this, it is difficult to even remember what a deep funk I was in.  Cheaper than therapy, eh?  So, next time you feel this way, rather than “fixing” the other, try taking it easy, living in love rather than marinating in irritation.  Just send a little reiki.  

Dance, Baby Dance

Easter, 2010

          Want to stay young? Keep the mind vigorous? Stave off Alzheimer's?  Everyone recommends taking up a new hobby.  I say look to your past for something you have stopped doing.  This year I've found what's old is new.
       Over the years, somehow I learned to sit down and shut up.  Talk about giving up on my gifts.  I remembered to walk, but forgot to dance.  I remembered to talk, but not to sing.  Somehow I became embarrassed about it all.  Who knew?  It seems like the free person on our left only comes out for the holidays like a good dress, then goes back into the closet until the next festive event.
       As I write this, I'm at church and the preschoolers are practicing for their Christmas program.  It's adorable, but they are also learning to conform.  Now this is a big overstatement, but there is this feeling of sit down and shut up (except when I tell you to stand up and perform).  It's important to society that we learn how to be polite and respectful of others, but it can be taken way too far.  Turns out, that's just what I did.
       As we approach the new year, it is a great time to look at our lives, maybe see a few things that we have given up, some of that zest for life that has been lost.  Now, identifying the problem is not nearly enough.  To remedy the situation, we need a plan.  Make a regular, public commitment that will restore the smile to your face.

this is about what I sound like now...
(clip art from Fiddler's Crossing)

        I had never made a New Year's resolution before, but last January I chose 3 areas of my life that I felt I had "given up" on.  I resolved to be a better friend, learn how to sing, and remember how to write.  All things I had given up in the pursuit of being a great parent.  Totally unnecessary, but if you watch What Not To Wear, apparently it is quite common. It was time to become a beginner again.
       What is so cool is that I have made progress in all of the areas.  For me the key was to make the commitments public.  If you set a weekly date to meet a friend, she is likely to make you stick with it, just like an accountability buddy when you run.  I also joined the choir. Even when there are 10 other people singing your part, it is important to the group that you show up for practice and church.  Peer pressure works. As for writing, this is my 127th post. I'm getting somewhere on that promise too.
        It's time to begin thinking about this next year.  I've been tossing around ideas- learning to improve my website, committing to dancing and playing games, I'm not sure yet.  Right now anything is possible for 2013 and I'm so excited.

Happy Thanksgiving!

from Blacksheepsite

2012 first pie

      Happy Thanksgiving! As I sit to write, the first pie is out of the oven with more to come. I just love a holiday all about food and family, from the families we were born in to the families that we create.   I was blessed to be born into a large crazy family.  My Grandma, Henrietta, lived with us 4 days a week, and this Norman Rockwell painting shows how she would cut the edges of the crust off the pie.  It was one of the great goals of my life to be able to hold that pie up and cut off the edges.  Thanks, Grandma.  Here is a picture of as her with the grandkids in 1973 (yours truly is sitting front and center in the yellow dress).

     Those families we create are next on my gratitude list. My little family began in Cincinnati (with just me), but over the years has grown.  I have cooked turkeys in Annapolis, the Philippines, Sicily, Florida, Cincinnati and Florence.  In each place there has been a wonderful gathering of people to share it with.  My favorite turkey was one in Sicily.  It was the first with one of those red buttons that pop to tell you the turkey is finished.  The darn thing stayed firmly in the turkey after three or four hours (it felt 5 hours...).  I actually called Mom back in the States.  Calm and collected, she said stop worrying, just shake the leg, see if it's loose.  Can you imagine getting a call from your frantic daughter six time zones away?  Thank God for my mom.

from Timing the Perfect Turkey

I also give thanks for all of the things I have learned this year and especially to my teachers:

•  JoAnn, Wendy, and Sianna in various classes
• my friends at bible study who continue to expand my mind
• my students; yoga, reiki and others
• most of all, my family, Greg, John, Daniel and Joan

My teachers also come to me through books.  From Pavel Tsatsouline, who teaches how real men stretch, to Steven Pinker, who proves the decline in violence, to Susan Cain, who taught me that I was an introvert, I am truly grateful. (By the way, her book got me interested in the Meyers Briggs personality test.  Turns out I am an INFJ which is only one percent of the population.  It explains a lot of things and frees me to be myself.  What a gift!)

from Carlos Flores, USNA class of 1988

     My next offer of gratitude is for those who serve our country in the military.  The definition for veteran: someone who has written a check, payable to “The United States of America”, for any amount up to, and including, their life.  This post from August is about our gift of Thanksgiving to the country of Grenada by invading in October of 1984. I am especially grateful for those who continue to serve, keeping our family gatherings possible through your service.
      A small side note of gratitude goes to my internet.   I have been having problems until this morning.  Let's just say I have 13 draft posts and four more rough ideas caught in the files of my computer.

From Tewksbury Rod and Gun

     One final note of gratitude goes to the beloved American Turkey, who gives his life annually that we might have a great dinner.
      If you would like the pleasure and health benefits of adding a bit of gratitude into your life, let me recommend Happy Rambles.  It is an online gratitude journal.  Each day they send and email requesting your entry and store your replies online. It makes you realize there are things to be grateful for every day.

P.S. I am truly grateful for my boys who are in the kitchen pealing and chopping potatoes so I can post on my blog.  I have been showered with blessings!  Happy Thanksgiving!

Defying the Law of Gravity

       Today I went to the funeral of a long time friend.  He and his wife made my life happier.  I had first met them when they joined our parish.  We hosted one of the parish welcome dinners.  It was such a good night, I even remember everything that I prepared.  We were not long returned from Italy, so it was three kinds of pasta, two meat dishes and a vast variety of contorni and deserts.  We ate and drank and laughed ourselves silly.
       As a member of the funeral choir,  I have been to many, many funerals.  This had the best readings, the most thoughtful songs, the most meaningful homily.  The reading from Revelations really stuck with me.  "There will be no more death, or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away." (Rev 21: 4)  As the old order passes away it is time to question which things to keep and which to cast aside.  As I talked about on Tuesday, my current affirmation is "I am willing to change."  Being willing to change is releasing the attachments of the old order; body image, how to measure success, how to live.

       This picture from icanhasacheesburger.com, really captures the feeling of anything goes.   Basement cat (the name for any black cat) has made an amazing choice.  He defies gravity.  I'm not sure what my next choice will be, but I hope it is as bold as his.

The Gift of Love

Today was one of those days.  To do list the length of my forearm, woke up motivated as all get out, but the day was well and fully hijacked by one of my boys.  He had needs that only I could help him with.

What a great gift for the two of us.  It is good to remember that there are things and people who we would give everything up for (and especially good to remember it without have a major crisis to change your world view).  It is also good to realize that there are people in this world who would give up anything for us.

Most times we go through life feeling a bit like the people in this picture.  There are so many of us, we can get lost in the crowd.  My beloved piece of this party is standing in the red shorts on the left.   Though part of the crowd, he has hopes and dreams, good days and bad days.  On those days where it feels like everything is falling apart, other people in the crowd reach out to support.

It reminds me of a movie I saw years ago.  Unfortunately, I can’t find it on the web. It was about a man who had been an extra in loads of movies.  For each film, he had a still photo of the crowd scene with a big red circle and arrow to himself.  Above the arrow, it said “Me.”  Though it feels egotistical, truly, the center of our universe is always “Me.”  There is no other way to see things than through the filter of our own existence. What is special is when those who step into our existence to make it better.

It happens all of the time.  I am so blessed to have those to love and be loved by.  So often we think we are all alone, no one cares.  It is so important to ask for help and let ourselves be served sometimes.  We all touch one another and are honored to serve.