Sometimes Progress Feels Like Retreat

relaxation and rest

    Yeah, it's frustrating.  The world tells you that happiness is where it's at.  Keep a gratitude journal.  Take time to do what you enjoy.  Relax like a cat.  But what happens when your path takes you through darkness?
    The first time I ever experienced this was in a yoga class.  The class was at the old Tri City YMCA, taught by Shalini Latour (aside from being a yoga teacher, she makes gourmet chocolates, yum!).  The class focused on neck position.  In each pose she would talk us into correct placement of the head and shoulders.  About 45 minutes into class I began to cry.  Tears flooded down my face.
        It was like there was a cyst of unhappiness in my shoulder and when the muscles relaxed, it released all of the poisonous emotions stored there.  At the time I was mortified, but everyone just let me be and  I finished the class.  Of course, later I learned that emotions can be stored in the body, and are often expressed on the way out.

Me, trying to get into the Elephant camp
 Chang Mai, Thailand

        At these times, it is important to remember the glass is half full.  Here we are, working so hard to be positive. To get there, sometimes you have to plow through yesterday's troubles to get to tomorrow's peace.
       This picture is of me in Thailand.  It is in 1989 and I am at my young, fit best.  Look at my body posture. I'm terrified.   Notice the fear in my body. This fear (or anger or grief or whatever other emotion) happens all the time.  If you don't let it out, it get's stored in the body.
       It is important to remember that the healing crisis, whether it be physical or emotional, is part of the healing process.  Let the unhappy feelings wash over you, then return to your emotional center, the calm of a cat sleeping, safe and secure.

Not Tonight, I Have a Headache: Yoga for the Head

    Until this last week I would have said I don't get headaches very often, but I was wrong. It is one of the curious things about long term pain.  So often we forget it is there, just like the static on a stereo system or the twinge in your knee.  If you can't fix it, ignore it.  Over the past week, I have been using the poses described below and the relief is amazing.
    Recently, I attended the closing classes of Shine Yoga Studio (here's a post on what a gift the studio has been to me for many years).   Not only are classes with the traveling teachers like Sianna Sherman  fun and interesting, but they tend to use poses that we may have let drop from our daily practice.  She used several facial expressions in various ways throughout the classes.  What I have discovered in my home practice is they are wonderful in releasing facial tension, relaxing the head and shoulders, and, best of all, relieving stress headaches!

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        The class was about opening to change in our lives, becoming a bit like this guy here on the left.  He is Hanuman, the Hindu monkey god.  Hanumanasana (the asana or pose of Hanuman) is the splits, one very open position that I love watching other people do.  One thing you will immediately notice is his very puffy cheeks (here is the story of how it came to pass). Sianna mentioned making his face is a great way to open up the muscles in your face, but we didn't do it in class. So here is what I came up with at home....
            - sit quietly, becoming more aware of your cheeks and jaw
            -  inhale, filling your cheeks up with air
            - swish the air around in your cheeks, pressing the ball of air into anyplace that feels tight
                                                        - remember to go into the lower jaw, the hinge of the jaw and the area between your nose and mouth
                                                         - exhale, noticing how the cheeks and jaw feels

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      Our other facial expression was from the god, Kali.  She is often pictured with her tongue sticking out.  Unfortunately, the only pictures I could find had her mouth closed and that is not the posture we are looking for.  This lovely cat, on the other hand, has the mouth just right. Kali face (as I call the expression in my mind) is much more active than Hanuman's.  To find the Kali face....
            - inhale with the face relaxed
            - exhale - open eyes wide
                         - open mouth wide
                         - stick your tongue way out
                         - make an audible Hah! with the breath
            - repeat
     I noticed that this expression really digs in and releases the tongue and jaw muscles.  Hanuman's face releases the cheeks and lips.  Once I let go of the tension in the lower half of my face, my head begins to feel better.  The more I relax it, the feeling begins to spread to the base of the skull and down the neck and throat.
      The funny thing is how making these faces also makes you laugh.  You feel ridiculous and that can be lots of fun.  I'm sure the laughter helps in stress relief as well.  Play around with them and let me know what you think.  Blessings and laughter. Pam

Power vs. Force

    Last night, much as I hate to admit it, I was on YouTube watching cat videos.  If my day has not had quite enough laughter, this is the sure cure.  My first cat, Farley, was the wedding gift that kept on giving.  She's the orange one on the right.  The gray and black kitten is Charlie. (Yes, the names are almost to precious for words, I was young).  Back to the cat videos. Among the cute kittens and the explanations of Schrodinger's cat (a physics mind experiment that I liked until I realized they kill the cat), there was a perfect demonstration of the difference between being powerful and being forceful.
      I was given the book Power vs Force, by a friend in 2005 and been fascinated ever since.  The book describes the different levels of emotion and thought moving from completely powerless (shame) through forceful (fear, desire, anger and pride) to the power that does not need to force it's views on others (love, joy, peace and enlightenment).  I use this awareness in daily life to change the things I'm going to do anyway (the dishes and making dinner) into acts of love and happiness.  If you are walking fast to do errands, why not do it with a smile on your face?

    What is so interesting about this movie is the calm cat.  The deer is stomping and doing other threat displays.  The cat just watches, only moving when necessary to stand it's ground.  The perfect demonstration of how to stand up to bullies.
     The cat is intrinsically powerful mentally, though clearly outclassed physically.  It is such a great thing to remember in daily life.  The person who is well off is not the one with the most money, she is the one with the most peace. One of my favorite quotes from the book...

Facts are accumulated by effort, but the truth reveals itself effortlessly...This book will have been successful if by the end of it you exclaim, "I always knew that!"

A Little Time Off

    I woke up this morning, had a great run, then turned into a crazy woman.

The dirty kitchen was unbearable, etc. etc. etc. Sorry, boys, I really took it out on you.  Eventually we worked it out through funny music, the icanhasacheezburger website and a bit of cleaning.  Later I wondered why I turned into such a beast, especially just after a run when I usually feel great.

      All this changing is hard work.  I know a belief is only an idea or thought that I accept to be true.  That last bit is the hard part.  It is hard to change what we accept.  I felt like this picture (really the cheezburger website is great!)

   It is a little strange in this metaphor that I am both the cat and the master, but there is energy work for you. When I am alone (without my teenage sons who always have the next funny website), I'll play happy music or use guided meditation.
    Here is my one of my favorite relaxing guided meditations, from Louise Hay's Love Yourself, Heal Your Life Workbook (Insight Guide)

Here’s an exercise you can do to help you let go and relax:

As you read this exercise, take a deep breath, and as you exhale, allow the tension to leave your body. Let your scalp, forehead, and face relax. Your head need not be tense in order for you to read. Let your tongue, throat, and shoulders relax, Let your back, abdomen, and pelvis relax. Let your breathing be at peace as you relax your legs and feet.

Can you feel a noticeable change in your body since you started reading the previous paragraph? In this relaxed, comfortable position, say to yourself:

“I am willing to let go. I release. I let go. I release all tension. I release all fear. I release all anger. I release all guilt. I release all sadness. I let go of old limitations. I let go, and I am at peace. I am at peace with myself. I am at peace with the process of life. I am safe.”

Go over this exercise two or three times. Repeat it whenever thoughts of difficulty come up. It takes a little practice for the routine to become a part of you. Once you’re familiar with this exercise, you can do it anywhere at any time. You will be able to relax complete in any situation.

This meditation relaxes and makes me feel powerful.  One last powerful cat picture.  I really do look amazing in the mirror.

More than I paid for!

    For years I have been taking herbal and homeopathic remedies.  At first I was solidly in the "Yeah, right" category.   Since nothing else helped and they were recommended by a trusted friend, I continued.  I gathered data that pointed to success, moving me to "Yeah, right!"  Since I firmly believe in the power of the mind, this could be the placebo effect.
     When my cat's began experiencing health problems, their results really changed my mind.  It began the summer I bought the pottery fountain. It had a large reservoir in the back with an opening that easily accommodated a cat head.  Joy and Lucy loved to drink from it.

     Both of them began to act strangely.  Not only were their bathroom habits different, but also sleeping and personality.  We tried air diffusers with calming scents and diets recommended by the vet.  Nothing worked. So I took the saliva sample and a picture to my reiki master, JoAnn.  She recommended several courses of homeopathics and vibropathics for heavy metal toxicity.
     Not only did the cats not know what they were being given, they fought receiving it tooth and nail.  Only someone who has given a cat medicine knows what this truly means.

      So I gave the cats the vibropathics that they resisted immensely, but their behavior began to change.  Slowly they returned to the normal, curmudgeonly Lucy and the normal, playful Joy.  The only thing that changed was the remedies.  This was definitely out of the placebo territory.
       A week ago I purchased a Nu|vision computer program to dowse and send remedies to my family.  What I did not realize was that it comes with a silver box called a Holographic Connector device.  This allows me to create homeopathics or imprint water and other substances with homeopathics and affirmations.  Now all of the things I purchased to help the cats, I can make at home.  Not only that, I can create wristbands like the power/balance band.  The first one I made was to help me go to sleep on time and awake refreshed.  Though I hate to admit it, it is 10:05 and I am so ready for bed.  Hope it works this well tomorrow.

Celebrate in Parivrtta Janu Sirsasana

     Celebration is not what one normally associates with sitting forward bends.  They are more in line with procrastination and outright avoidance.  I have been part of this movement (or lack of movement) for many years. However, things are beginning to change.
      When I thought about the Fourth of July, the word that comes to mind is celebration.  But how to find celebration in yoga?  Rather than a vigorous, crazy practice, I decided to focus on the feeling that arises after the pose.  After this forward bend, the energy rises through the body, leaving a feeling of effervescence, sometimes even fireworks.  Enjoy. (By the way, Joy the cat joined in again...)

Defying the Law of Gravity

       Today I went to the funeral of a long time friend.  He and his wife made my life happier.  I had first met them when they joined our parish.  We hosted one of the parish welcome dinners.  It was such a good night, I even remember everything that I prepared.  We were not long returned from Italy, so it was three kinds of pasta, two meat dishes and a vast variety of contorni and deserts.  We ate and drank and laughed ourselves silly.
       As a member of the funeral choir,  I have been to many, many funerals.  This had the best readings, the most thoughtful songs, the most meaningful homily.  The reading from Revelations really stuck with me.  "There will be no more death, or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away." (Rev 21: 4)  As the old order passes away it is time to question which things to keep and which to cast aside.  As I talked about on Tuesday, my current affirmation is "I am willing to change."  Being willing to change is releasing the attachments of the old order; body image, how to measure success, how to live.

       This picture from icanhasacheesburger.com, really captures the feeling of anything goes.   Basement cat (the name for any black cat) has made an amazing choice.  He defies gravity.  I'm not sure what my next choice will be, but I hope it is as bold as his.

Reflections on Creating

               Here it is!  My website nkyreiki.com has launched.  It is so much like giving birth to a child (though thankfully the gestation was much shorter).  Just like adding that first child to a family, you create the structure to support it (high chair, car seat, bassinet, tiny dishes and cups), decorate the nursery, then go to the hospital to give birth.  The last few weeks I have been nesting, like right before the baby is born (I'll never forget my sister recovering the couch when she was 9 months pregnant, it was a sight).
                Like a new mother, I have not slept for the past two weeks.  I kept waking up at 3 am with visions of website design or ideas for how to fix the things that were bugging me.  This gave me quite a headache when I went to the airport to pick up my mom yesterday.  She was returning from a mission trip to Vietnam.
                At the Naval Academy I studied the Vietnam war extensively.   We had many instructors who had served and I was fascinated with the region.  Maybe I wasn't sleeping also because I was worried about her.  I arrived at the airport when the flight was scheduled to land, so I had time to wait while the bags were unloaded from the plane.
              The temperature was 102 degrees. In the shade.  What's a poor girl with a headache to do?  Lie down of course.  I have learned from Joy the perfect corpse pose or savasana.  I parked in the shade, rolled down all the windows in the car and laid down in the grass.  It was brown and crunchy already, but the world was perfect.  When I got the call to leave the cell phone lot 15 minutes later, my headache was gone.  Completely.

              Mom brought home a picture that expresses the wonderful rooted, grounded feeling we all search for.  This is a tree growing in a Buddhist temple in Vietnam.  Once can see the permanence.  In Poser: My Life in Twenty-three Yoga Poses, Claire Dederer spends a chapter on corpse pose.  She asks "What if the opposite of good wasn't bad? What if the opposite of good was real?"  In my quest for the good (if not perfect) website to express my business, I had let go of the real.  Really there are usually dishes in my sink; really there are usually things on my to do list; really I like it that way.
              For a while I kept a perfect house, it was not comfortable or welcoming. I'm hoping my website is both comfortable and welcoming, please pardon the dirty dishes.

Such a Pain in the Neck!

One of my most requested classes is for pain relief in the neck and shoulders.  I love the request because there are many ways to approach it.  This video is geared to increase blood flow and mobility, then find the correct shoulder and neck alignment.  There is a brief cameo appearance by my cat, Joy.  She would not leave the room for the hour and a half it took me to shoot and edit this (yes, I am that slow).  I think she just wanted to make sure that she did not end up on the cutting room floor.

The funny thing is, when iMovie "optimized" the video, it cut off my feet so you can't see her moving around nearly as much as she did.  Though Joy is not nearly the rock star she was hoping to be, please enjoy this gentle but deep practice to open and align the upper body.

Happy Saturday!

                   Here is a little gift for your Saturday from the site  http://icanhascheezburger.com/.  On this site, black cats are called basement cats; all of them have slight hint of ruthlessness.  After the uber-mom week I've had, this lovely black mamma cat feels just right.

Ah... Savasana

  

              Meet Joy. My cat, playmate and the world’s best yogi.  Her savasana (corpse pose) is so perfect we have been calling her a resident of the boneless chicken ranch for years.  Gary Larson’s cartoon showing chickens with no bones draped around the barnyard like Dali’s melting clocks has always defined what I look for in corpse pose. When I lay down or talk my students into corpse pose, that look shows the feeling we are all looking for.

                How hard can it be? Even my cat can do it. Turns out savasana can be very hard indeed.  When we stop moving the body, it frees the mind to roam. 

                Five minutes of savasana for every 30 minutes of practice is the accepted minimum.  It allows your practice of asana (poses) to penetrate the body and all levels of consciousness.  In the quiet you learn what you have learned.  A few tips to improve this practice.

               Relax the body- Find a quiet position on your back with your palms facing towards the ceiling.  Cover up if it is cold.  Beginners (or say, me, after 8 years of teaching!) find it easier to settle with two 10 lb sandbags positioned in the creases of each groin to settle the heads of the femur bones.

               Relax the mind- If you want a mind like water, you have to remove the dams.  Give your problems over to something or someone else.  Problems tend to cluster in two areas- stuff to do and stuff to worry over.  I have found David Allen’s GTD system takes care of helping release the stuff to do pile.  Give your concerns over to an angel and let the angel hold onto it for the time of savasana.  If you can, leave your worries with the angel because fretting just wastes your energy.

             Get outside help-  One of the biggest helps to relaxing the body and mind is to put weight on your forehead, covering the third eye.  When I can’t go to sleep at night, I use my hand, but for savasana a sandbag can be your best friend.  Place a heavy eye bag on your forehead or a full size sandbag half on the forehead and half on a block.  Then let the hot brain cool under the weight.

          Give these a try.  I’d love your feedback on what works for you. Click on the Ask Me Anything button to share. With practice you, too, can be a resident of the boneless chicken ranch.