How to Fire a Client, Energy Healer style

     How to fire a client. This topic has 1,270,000 articles that come up on a web search. Most deal with clients who are difficult or disrespectful, but it is different in the healing business, especially in the energy healing business. To become a healer of any sort- doctor, chiropractor, reiki practitioner- is to come from a genuine desire to help people. So what to do if the best help you can give someone is to recommend they leave?
     Recently I've been on both sides of this experience and I have a few observations that may help you as you make this decision. From the receiving end being fired was so frustrating! I wasn't sure which was worse that he said he couldn't help or that it took so long (and so much money) for him to let me know. First lesson learned:

1. Be Proactive

     For two and a half years, I was a patient of a great chiropractor. I generally saw him biweekly. We tried manipulation, traction, exercises, supplements. Nothing worked. Grr. I was feeling worse than when we started. I finally expressed my frustration with lack of progress and he said, lets take a break for a few weeks and I'll come back to you with suggestions. When I came back the suggestion was to look elsewhere for healing.
     As I write this I'm still angry that it took me (the patient) to put up the 'this isn't working' flag. We had the same discussion two other times over the years I was his patient. I should have trusted my gut earlier. It's important to know what your own abilities are. Which leads me to the second lesson.

2. Know Your Abilities

     One of the most valuable things I've ever learned can be summed up in three simple questions. Before beginning any work as yourself these questions- May I? Can I? Should I? In this situation our question is can I? Is it within my abilities to help my client?
     Two weeks ago I had to let go of a client. It was hard because not only was he a regular appointment, but I really enjoyed working with him. Sessions were very interactive and interesting. But something wasn't quite right. I couldn't put my finger on it. Then he said something in an email that made me understand. There was a situation he needed to clear before any more healing happened. And it needed skills I don't yet possess.
     For a more concrete example, if you come to me with a compound fracture of the femur, I'll send you to the orthopedic surgeon to get the bone set, then we can get to work.
    It becomes a matter of ethics. Taking someone's money and time, while knowing I can't help, is just wrong.

3. Use Your Tools

     It was hard to admit I couldn't help.
     Really hard.
     I so didn't want to make the call. So I called in reinforcements from the toolbox I have amassed over the years. My first stop was Brain Gym. Most people go to brain gym classes to learn how to help the kids, either students in their classes or clients. We all walk away with tools to help ourselves.
     When I am confronted with changing stubborn ideas, I need to look no farther than my door. Using this chart, I did a Brain Gym balance around letting go. It took about fifteen minutes.
     It felt better, but I wasn't quite ready. Time for the next tool. I got out my zafu (made from this pattern and buckwheat hulls) and sat down. That's all. Just a little time with the Lord, not to pray or ask or complain, just to spend a bit of time.
     I made the call, still not sure I could admit my inability. But it was so easy. I was calm and forthright, not pushing for 'here's the perfect solution.' We agreed to stopping the work.
     I have no idea what it was like on the client's end, but I felt very peaceful, like I had finally found the solution for a problem that was lurking in the back of my mind.

     It's never easy to change things, even if they are not working. It's just important to remember to notice how you are feeling, honor the need to change, and use all your tools to make the change as gentle as possible. If you have any ways to make this transition smoother or would like to share your story (from either side) please leave a comment below. Blessings, Pam

Ta-Da! -sana: Opening to Grace

     Does it ever feel like God is trying to get you to understand something?  The longer you don't get it, the higher the volume goes?  I have been having that month. It all began with a song....

      For my next song in voice lessons, I was assigned My Soul is Thirsting (Psalm 63) by Steve Angrisano.  This is a video of the author teaching a group the refrain.  Now I just love the psalms.  They express every emotion from love to rage to hate to envy to longing.  There is a psalm for every situation.  It makes me feel a little less alone in the dark nights, others have been here long before me and found a way out.
     I played around with the song.  First just learning the tune, then practicing different aspects. But, I didn't really think about it much. So, God ups the ante....
    Two weeks later I took a great weekend of yoga from Sianna Sherman (posts about her video and some of the lessons learned).  One of the things she mentioned several times is that with each inhale the body is healing (in reiki we would say 'releasing blocks').  It stuck in my mind.  I just could not make sense of it.  If I get better with each inhale (and I have quite a few inhales under my belt), why am I ageing? It feels more like I am creating blocks rather than releasing most of the time.

Window at Peaceful Meadow Retreat.

    I ruminated on the thoughts about thirsting for God and healing with each inhale, turning the puzzle pieces over and rearranging them in my mind.   On Saturday they suddenly came together.  It reminded me of this picture.  We had taken several pictures in a row of this window.  Most were fairly dark and did not capture the feelings we were looking for.  This one was the third of five exposures.  The interesting thing is it was the middle picture.  In this one photo, you can see the grace that is always there.

source

     Our souls thirst until we open the doors to let God in. He is always there waiting. Each inhale heals the body if it is made with an open heart.  Each inhale in anger, hurt and shame creates ill health or dis-ease.
     I spent an hour on Saturday going through my computer, trying to find a picture of someone with an open heart.  I couldn't find a single one.  We all see the camera and shy away.  People cross arms in front of their bellies or round their shoulders to hide.  When I mentioned this at the Reiki Share on Sunday, Lorna Barrett,  a fellow yoga teacher told me how she teaches this to her students.  In your mind imagine that you are a gymnast who has just completed a major routine.  Spread the fingers and toes and open your heart up to the grace all around you.  Stand tall and Ta-Da! in tadasana.


P.S. If you want to experience this great teaching style first hand, Lorna's classes are at the R.C. Durr YMCA in Burlington, KY Monday and Wednesday at 11.

Love Your Liver: or how to surround the dragon

   Have you ever watched the television show House?  I used to love watching how the group of doctors took a number of symptoms and kept looking at the patient from different angles to come up with a diagnosis.  They would write it all up on a board, ponder and pace.  They would try different medicines and somehow at 55 minutes into the show come up with a miraculous solution (usually).  The process is called differential diagnosis
    If you were trying to apply this to energy healing (and, I am), we start in the same place.  What are the symptoms?  What in our life or our client's life is not working and could use a little help?  We could go on for days, but let's not.  I like to gather a symptom list so we can look for improvements, not to diagnose.  Remember in energy healing we do not diagnose, treat, or cure (it would be illegal!)
    In any given situation, some healing steps are universal.  We want to create conditions in the body where it can just heal itself.  So we look at the terrain.

1. Does your body run cold?  Take your temperature each morning upon rising.  A body temperature routinely under 98.2 has a hard time burning off predators (bacteria, viruses, etc.)
2. What is your pH?  Use Nature's Sunshine pH Test Strips 100 strips  first thing in the morning to check salivary pH before eating or drinking anything.  Ideally your body is neutral (pH of 7).
3. Look at your diet.  Try to eat on the alkalizing side of the chart.
4. Drink warm lemon water twice a day.  Use the juice from half a lemon and pure water (I use the Soma Board, Water Revitalizer and the Wings of Genesis on my water, as well as filtering it) This not only cuts down on the mucus in the body, but it alkalizes as well. (Tip from experience, do not buy the big beautiful lemons that beckon in shining piles, go for that bag of organic lemons.  Not only are they smaller and chemical free, but they are also easier to juice.  The first time I tried this, I used a large lemon.  The water was almost undrinkable!)
5. Watch the Quantum K video.  The video is 23 minutes and seems a bit odd on first look.  I have found the quantum K numbers to be very effective in my practice and this is an easy way to use them. The last section on Spiritual Healing references some beliefs that I do not hold, but it is mixed with a lot of things about forgiveness that I wouldn't want to miss.  You'll have to decide for yourself.

The next places to work are more Peter Pan than gardening. Just think lovely thoughts.

1. My first stop is Louise Hay's   Heal Your Body A-Z: The Mental Causes for Physical Illness and the Way to Overcome Them.  For the liver she suggests the probable cause is that the liver is the seat of anger and primitive emotions.  Her healing affirmation is  "Love and peace and joy are what I know."  Tape the affirmation to your bathroom mirror and say it to your self several times in the morning and evening.  Keep it in your wallet or use it as a bookmark.
2. In Jin Shin Jyutsu, liver is attached to middle finger (anger).  Hold the middle finger with the opposite hand.  If you'd like to make this stronger, say to yourself "I release all anger."
3. Young Living Oil of Transformation.  Get a little help with the anger, use some of this oil. By replacing negative beliefs with revitalizing new thought patterns, a transformation in behaviors, emotions, and attitudes is possible.  I found some advice to use it with polarity yoga.  I have never tried this, but if I'm working on the liver, why not try something new.  I'm not sure if I could stop laughing which is a great tonic for anger.

       There are just so many more things to do than take a pill.  Only two of these suggestions take any thing other than your body and a few groceries.  After coming up with your own list of symptoms and remedies, give it a try.  Most of these suggestions will help with any condition.  After a few weeks, assess your progress by running through your symptom list.  Drinking lemon water and eating a bit cleaner raised my body temperature a full degree in about two weeks.

       I love how energy healing has broadened my world.  Be Blessed.

Is There Such a Thing as To Much? (or anatomy of a healing crisis)

   Last week, life was really getting me down.  I hesitate to say "for no good reason," because we can always find a reason to be upset.  Lets leave it at, I was more down than was reasonable.  I felt like my nephew did when someone stole one of his potato chips....

       All this sorrow seems a bit extreme for one potato chip, but it was how he felt... and last week I felt the same.
        Well, I learned something very interesting today. There is more than one kind of healing crisis.  In the past I have dealt with physical issues.  When the body is getting rid of something, it can be a bit spectacular but I'll spare you the gory details.  We'll get together over coffee sometime and swap war stories.
      I've always known you can move too fast when healing, but had never experienced something quite like this.  (Now the funny thing is, as I typed those words, I realized that they aren't true at all.  For me emotional discomfort is kind of like childbirth, I forget the worst parts so I'm willing to go through it again.  Who knew?)  I was just so sad, over everything.  I can't imagine how people deal with depression every day of their lives.
       The good part about a rough time caused by too much of good thing (energy work, herbs, vibropathics) is that all you need to do is back off a little bit and find a happy place to let your mind rest. I spent Sunday recovering, probably listened to my relaxation meditation enough to wear out the tape (thank goodness it is on YouTube). By Monday I was gently (but inexorably) cleaning house.  I remember my father in law comparing the women who helped him set up his new home in the retirement community to battleships called dreadnoughts.  I didn't get it at the time, but now I understand. They just keep cleaning and it restores order to the world.
        I guess the lesson here is all things in good time.  In my hurry to be "fixed" and be done with it, I couldn't see the beauty of the world around me. What a shame it would have been to miss this sunset!

The Cosmic Baseball Bat Strikes Again

     Sometimes when I am being particularly thick-headed, God needs to hit me on the back of the head with the cosmic baseball bat to get some sense in.  Yesterday was one of those days.  I have spent the summer gathering ideas, making handouts and recording videos about different techniques to handle stress.  One would think that I am the expert.  Turns out I had a lesson to learn (or really, relearn for the millionth time!)
    It was time to take our oldest son back to college.  It was time and more than time.  We all thought we were ready; him for his freedom, us for ours. Somewhere deep in my heart I was so not ready.  In my last post, I talked about creating affirmations from negative feelings and his departure was one of my examples.  But I needed so much more than just affirmations.  I used every technique I am teaching on Saturday over and over and over.
     I went from breathing techniques to affirmations to heart math to Jin Shin Jyutsu to acupressure and then started all over again.  If you asked me none of it was working.  The day was horrible, I felt miserable and ended the day crying myself to sleep.  Pretty pathetic.
     Now comes the interesting part, the lesson in the sob story... This morning I woke up feeling great.  All that energy work that felt like pouring water onto sand (loads of work, but no lasting effect) actually worked.  My closest analogy is the dirty ring in a teenage boy's shower (are we beginning to see why I wanted him back in his apartment?)
      Each day, you go into the shower, clean yourself and leave.  Ideally all the soap and dirt go down the drain, but in real life, there is always the ring around the tub.  Think about the energy work like a microfiber towel.  If you clean up, even just a little bit, each time you go into the shower, the ring does not build up.  You still have the soap and dirt, but they don't stay and make you miserable.
     Energy work while you experience pain is just like that.  It is not surgery, cutting out the pain, or anesthetic, that numbs it.  Rather the energy helps to experience pain without leaving emotional scars.  Yes, I would like to have him around. I love him, but I'm eager to let him fly again.
      The funny thing about this experience is the timing.  I am going to be a much better teacher on Saturday because I really practiced yesterday.  Maybe that cosmic baseball bat was a gift after all.

It's the Little Things

   I'll never forget waking up in October of 1984 to hear that the U.S. had invaded Grenada.  My first thought was "Where in the heck is Grenada?"  but the second was a renewal of my desire to join the Navy.  I wanted to make the world safe for democracy and  President Reagan was paving the way.
   As that day faded into obscurity, becoming a footnote of Reagan's presidency, periodically I wondered if it had been a good idea.  There were 34 people killed and 175 people wounded.  As a mom, it just seems wrong.
      Then I saw something wonderful in the Olympics coverage.  There was a "get to know" piece on Kirani James, who went on to win gold in the 400m.  Did you know, in Grenada, they celebrate the invasion as Thanksgiving Day. As I watched the piece I couldn't stop crying. Are those deaths justified, I don't know.  Are they honored, absolutely.  I had no idea there was any inner conflict, but there you are.
     It is one of the seldom mentioned side effects of taking an energy healing class like I described yesterday. Not only do you learn to heal others, you are healed yourself.  In the midst, I'm still trying to finish all the case studies. My husband calls it drinking through a fire hose.
    So back to this invasion, how is it a little thing?  Well, in the big sweep of history, it is.  Neither of my teenage sons (one in college and one a senior in high school) had even heard of it.  The big sweep of history is like the whirlwind of work and learning I created by taking this class.
     This picture is one more of those little things.  It is my one of my favorites from our Chicago trip.  We were in Millennium Park.  Home of many beautiful public spaces.  This weed, randomly planted by the wind, was the best part of the park to me.  The effervescent, explosive shape and way that it caught the light was visible from the other side of the park even though it was only 7 inches tall.  Is the midst of life's swirl, it is important to notice the beautiful little things.
     Today one of my sons and I were taking a long walk, each of us needing to clear our heads from our studies, and we found a new path in the woods!  Okay, new to us.  But we have lived here for 18 years and the path is within 100 yards of our house.  We had both walked by it many times over the years.  When the woods wrapped around us we slowed down and stopped talking.  We were just present to the moment, living in now.  Now felt pretty good. Today truly became our Thanksgiving Day.
   

When Life is a Pain in the Neck

    All this work on changing beliefs can really be a pain in the neck.  If you fee that way as well, here is a great energetic release for neck and shoulders.  Unfortunately, I have not been able to figure out how to get the image onto blogger, but if you click here, it will take you to Google Docs.
     My husband and I had a head on collision with a bus in 1989.  He had a 40% compression fracture of  the lowest vertebra in the neck, C7.  Needless to say, I have had a lot of practice working on his neck.  Each time I find something new, he is willing to try it out.  This one from Capacitar International works!
     In yesterday's yoga class, we all lined up and did this release to one another.  It was great to make a community doing energy work on one another.  Take it for a spin yourself.

Synergy at its best

   Earlier today I talked to a friend who recommended this video to me.  I have always loved the Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) because first you honor where you are today.  After watching the video tonight, I realized where my first step in changing a belief came from....
    I hope you enjoy.

The Power of Music

      I have been asked a lot of questions recently about house clearing.  How to do it, how often it is necessary, and why to do it in the first place.  Today I had an experience that answered all those questions in one fell swoop.
      One son is working as a camp counselor this summer.  This week his cabin was the perfect storm.  The mix of personalities was explosive.  The kids fought with each other and did their best to ignore the counselors all week.  They would rather complain than fix the problems.  We've all been there, sometimes in the leadership role and sometimes (that we'd rather not admit to) in the role of the irritating child.  It was one of those times that a parent says, what a valuable learning experience, so glad I was not there.
      As soon as the car doors closed, full of dirty laundry and enraged counselor, the venting began.  It went on and on and on.  I wanted to let him go on till it was all out.  Each camper and experience was described in exquisite detail.  When he was finished we moved onto our day.  I went upstairs to finish quilting the remake of the World's Ugliest Quilt.  As I sat down, it came to me that my son really enjoys music, choosing tunes to make us feel better.  So I grabbed my iPod and gave it to him.
     Pretty soon great songs were wafting up the stairs.  He played "Bite My Tongue,"  "Tambourine Man," and "Waiting Around to Die" among others.  By the end, he was in a great mood.  It was quite a transformation.
     Later in the day, I thought to check the house.  Did it need to be cleared?  There had been a lot of negativity going on.  The neat thing was, his work to transform his mood had also transformed the energy of the house. It didn't need any work.
     We constantly give off energy.  Any kind of positive energy can clear out negativity.  Sing, ring a bell, clap your hands, dance, move the furniture, or fill the place with reiki.  All of these can transform the energy in the house and how it is expressed in your life.

Beat the Heat

           Here in Kentucky it is so hot our fillings are melting, and that's with A/C.  The NOAA's National Climactic Data Center over 4,000 daily heat records have been broken in the last 30 days.   My first duty station in the Navy was the Philippines, where we would put on long sleeved shirts if the temperature dropped into the 80's.  How to find that place again?
            This morning I took a challenging yoga class, had lunch with my mom, did a little yard work and saw clients in the afternoon.  A really fulfilling day on the surface., but by 5:15 I was strung out, tired and almost weepy.  When I dowsed for the problem, what came up was these feelings were from the heat.  I started right where I always do, finding a few things to be grateful for.  When I had exhausted the list of the people I saw today and their gifts to me, it still felt a bit incomplete.  Then I remembered, on the way into Shine, the Hyde Park yoga studio where I have studied for the last seven or eight years, I found a copy of the most recent issue of Whole Living Journal.
              On the cover, there it was, "Are you a perfectionist? sometimes "good enough" is enough," the lead in to my first ever article! Not am I only grateful for the lessons the world's ugliest quilt taught me, but now I am grateful because it got me published!  Maybe this heat is not so bad...
               I moved on to a bit of energy work.  I really love using reiki for fatigue, just place your hands on your legs and send the power symbol.  After a few minutes, getting up and walking around the room doesn't seem so impossible.  It was time to move up to distance healing.
               When I first learned distance healing in Reiki level II, I used a teddy bear.  The stones and other tools kept sliding off, so I moved onto a pillow.  That still was not great, so I decided to make something beautiful that I would enjoy looking at and using.

          I used the red through purple to symbolize the chakras, making it easier to imagine the person I was working on laying there in front of me.  On it you see several BioGenesis tools and a card to symbolize the Holy Spirit.  This is the layout that I used today to restore freshness to my body and spirit.  It is such a help to be able to "set and forget."  These tools keep working as I make dinner and write up a blog post.
         There are so many tools in the energetic toolbox, we just need to remember them in the heat.

Let Your Freak Flag Fly! or, following divine guidance

        There we were with thousands of our closest friends, sweltering in the heat of July, waiting for the Northside Fourth of July Parade.  It was so worth it!  Anyone who has a cause, a band, or would like to advertise may join the parade.  We saw politicians and those who demonstrate against them.  We saw marching bands and drill teams (even the men's drill team that uses power drills and does routines).  There were the lawnchair ladies, unicyclists and belly dancers.  The thing that really caught my attention, though, was this...

        Fly your own freak flag.  I remember the first time a friend said this to me.  What great permission for an uptight, former naval officer, Catholic girl. I was so tightly wrapped, nothing good could get out.  But I firmly believe that God gave us all gifts, we need to find ways to use them.  Which meant it was time for a change.  After finding reiki, the adventure began.  I found my journey mirrored by some of the pictures I took yesterday.
        As an energy healer in Northern Kentucky, sometimes I feel like this guy...

     He is a fire eater, using his talents, even though it is very, very hot.  Each baton is balanced carefully, he has all the right tools, he is focused.  Everyone who sees him marvels both at his ability and at his craziness.  In those times I just keep waking up, doing what I do and looking for what in me makes life so uncomfortable.  For this fine fellow, I would recommend a change of clothes and a change of venue, like some air conditioning.  For me it is usually something similar.  I feel the emotional heat when I am trying to explain what I do to someone who has asked, but is not really interested in the answer.  They are asking the question to point out how wrong I am.  The best part is, a change of venue (i.e. walking away) can fix this as well.
     Sometimes I feel like this guy...

      Here he is, riding a unicycle and not one person is noticing him!  When I feel like a performer who is ignored, it is time to look inside.  Do I want privacy and rest, so no clients call?  Do I have a belief in failure? Am I resisting people paying me for my services?  That last one is an old foe.  We have jousted many times. He grows weaker while I grow stronger.
      More and more often, fortunately, I feel like these guys...

   ...grooving to the energy that moves through me to my clients, at one with the forces around me, making cool jazz, not noticing the people watching.  Not a bad place to be.  I'll leave you with one last picture to capture the feeling of letting your freak flag fly.  This is my nephew, covered in sweat and dirt, sitting among the family he loves, totally engaged in the spectacle that is life.

Body Language

                Have you ever wondered what we did before the internet?   I was browsing the web today, looking for an affirmation to help a client.  I did find what we were looking for, but also, so much more.  On one of the pages a quote caught my eye:

“Realistically, when our body refuses to do what we want it to, metaphysically, it is not actually broken. It is doing its job. One of its functions is to carry messages from the higher energetic planes to us. It is then up to us to interpret these messages and take action.”

- Lawrence Michail  (click here for the entire article)

It is such a challenge when it feels like our bodies are rebelling.  The mind says "I could just do that run last week or I have this strange pain in my liver."  When this happens rather than complaining (or for me, after bemoaning my fate for a while), it is important to look for the cause.  For example, when I start dropping things, I’m worrying about my son in college.  Sending my energy away leaves less energy here to move properly through space.

Think about the sinking feeling in your stomach when you know you should not do something.  If the feeling is ignored, it grows. Sometimes it even grows to major physical manifestations.   We have such a hard time when it feels like our bodies are betraying us.  Really, all the body is doing is providing feedback.  I’m working on being grateful for the experience.  Let me know what you think, click on the pencil to leave a comment.