Recently I've been on both sides of this experience and I have a few observations that may help you as you make this decision. From the receiving end being fired was so frustrating! I wasn't sure which was worse that he said he couldn't help or that it took so long (and so much money) for him to let me know. First lesson learned:
1. Be Proactive
For two and a half years, I was a patient of a great chiropractor. I generally saw him biweekly. We tried manipulation, traction, exercises, supplements. Nothing worked. Grr. I was feeling worse than when we started. I finally expressed my frustration with lack of progress and he said, lets take a break for a few weeks and I'll come back to you with suggestions. When I came back the suggestion was to look elsewhere for healing.
As I write this I'm still angry that it took me (the patient) to put up the 'this isn't working' flag. We had the same discussion two other times over the years I was his patient. I should have trusted my gut earlier. It's important to know what your own abilities are. Which leads me to the second lesson.
2. Know Your Abilities
One of the most valuable things I've ever learned can be summed up in three simple questions. Before beginning any work as yourself these questions- May I? Can I? Should I? In this situation our question is can I? Is it within my abilities to help my client?
Two weeks ago I had to let go of a client. It was hard because not only was he a regular appointment, but I really enjoyed working with him. Sessions were very interactive and interesting. But something wasn't quite right. I couldn't put my finger on it. Then he said something in an email that made me understand. There was a situation he needed to clear before any more healing happened. And it needed skills I don't yet possess.
For a more concrete example, if you come to me with a compound fracture of the femur, I'll send you to the orthopedic surgeon to get the bone set, then we can get to work.
It becomes a matter of ethics. Taking someone's money and time, while knowing I can't help, is just wrong.
3. Use Your Tools
Really hard.
I so didn't want to make the call. So I called in reinforcements from the toolbox I have amassed over the years. My first stop was Brain Gym. Most people go to brain gym classes to learn how to help the kids, either students in their classes or clients. We all walk away with tools to help ourselves.
When I am confronted with changing stubborn ideas, I need to look no farther than my door. Using this chart, I did a Brain Gym balance around letting go. It took about fifteen minutes.
It felt better, but I wasn't quite ready. Time for the next tool. I got out my zafu (made from this pattern and buckwheat hulls) and sat down. That's all. Just a little time with the Lord, not to pray or ask or complain, just to spend a bit of time.
I made the call, still not sure I could admit my inability. But it was so easy. I was calm and forthright, not pushing for 'here's the perfect solution.' We agreed to stopping the work.
I have no idea what it was like on the client's end, but I felt very peaceful, like I had finally found the solution for a problem that was lurking in the back of my mind.
It's never easy to change things, even if they are not working. It's just important to remember to notice how you are feeling, honor the need to change, and use all your tools to make the change as gentle as possible. If you have any ways to make this transition smoother or would like to share your story (from either side) please leave a comment below. Blessings, Pam
