A Step in the Right Direction

  (A few weeks ago, I decided I was going to learn to love Facebook and other social media.  Though I have had lots of help from friends and family,  I just can't seem to make it work for me or my business.  I needed to dig a little deeper to find the cause of my dis- ease. I began the process of changing a belief.  The work sheet is here.)

    Starting Small, step 3, defines where to work and the small steps to take. When I look over the Day 1 list, I see the word afraid four times in only 7 sentences.    This needs to be the first place to work.  Darn it! Learning something physical is always so much easier...  Maybe I'll approach me like a client who I am working with.  What would I recommend for someone else to begin with?

     My first thought is always reiki.  It's so easy, always at hand, and feels good while you do it.  So my list begins with- Send reiki to the relationship between myself and strangers.  I love sending reiki to relationships because then I don't have do define any further.  If I send it to my marriage, my husband and I communicate better.  What more could a girl ask for?
     Then I move on to the Nu|vision program.  Using name and date and place of birth, it creates an energetic hologram.  This is then run against over 30,000 conditions, causes and remedies.  The affirmations suggested are "The more I love, the more that love is returned to me." and "I know that the world is prosperous.  I notice prosperity all around me."  Interesting, not only did it catch my fear of people judging or being mean, the second affirmation deals with all of the negative information people put online.

      My third stop is Help One Another: An Anthology of the Teachings and Remedies of Hanna Kroeger.  The remedy I checked for is calendula tea, prescribed to treat ulcers and prevent muscle spasms, among other conditions.  This one is interesting.  I didn't even know I was afraid until I looked a few days ago, now all of these physical results.  It is a very clear example of our feelings creating physical symptoms.  I have had tight muscles and an uneasy stomach for years.

This photo is from Spiral Way Jin Shin Jyutsu, with gratitude.

     My final recommendation to help with fear is Jin Shin Jyutsu.  Part of the practice of Jin Shin Jyutsu is finger holds.  Each finger has a channel of energy that is related to a series of emotions.  Holding onto the finger restores the energetic pathway and begins to heal the emotions.  I first learned about the finger holds while teaching my oldest son to drive.  Since I have no depth perception, it was very hard to trust that he was not going to bang into "that pole right there!"  I asked my reiki master for help and this was her recommendation.  The index finger is related to fear and panic, that sounds just up my alley right now.
     Rather than do it all, step 3 is start small. I'll start with the reiki and finger hold.  These I can do at any time.   So I resolve to give 10 minutes of reiki a day to my relationship with strangers and do the index finger hold 3 times per day.  Tomorrow it is on to Step 4: Describe.

Step 1 Beginner's Mind
Step 2 Focus


(An interesting dowsing side note:  When I was dowsing Help One Another, the Hanna Kroeger compendium, and asked the three initial questions, I got some funny answers that may shed a bit of light on the troubles of learning to ask a question.
        The three questions I always begin with- May I? Can I? Should I?  When I asked May I?  The answer was a clear yes.  Can I? was a no.  My first thought was, what do you mean no.  Then I asked "Is the answer in this book?" the answer was no.  When I asked "Will it be beneficial for the post?" the answer was yes.   So I knew before I began that the remedies in Hanna's book were not my first step for the solution to this problem.)

Time to Take Another Step

(Author's note: Sorry about the gaps, I wrote this yesterday, but the power went out for hours.  Between power outages and router problems, God seems to be giving me a blogging break...)


        Yesterday I introduced the 7 steps to changing a belief.  The steps are on my website and downloadable from Google docs.  After admitting what is getting in the way of change, it is time to focus, step 2.  
       So often when we want to change, if someone asks what we want to change, the answer is "Everything!"  Though it sounds great, I think it is a bit hard on the system.  It is a bit like going from sitting on the couch one day to running a marathon the next.  To make the process effective, we need to focus.

2. Focus- What behavior/belief are really you trying to change?  Write every aspect down, then narrow the focus to the root behavior. Then go back and find your positive words. They are highlighted below.

• I want to use Facebook easily for my business. I have loved receiving the invitations to both business and family get-togethers. I like the connection to everyone.
• I enjoy looking at other's business pages.
• I tend to run in, post something and run out, usually missing both messages and alerts.
• Many days I forget to post to Facebook.
• Sometimes I have a hard time figuring out how to do things.
• I don't understand how to use many of the features.

       When I review the list, I see that most are not really technical problems.  If I can figure out how to blog, Facebook should be no problem.  It really seems to focus on squeamishness and the mind "forgetting" so I don't have to do something. Positive words I associate with this are: enjoy, easy, daily, love, connection.
        Now to put the positive into my life...

7 Steps to Change a Belief

So often when we want to begin something new, or have persistent problems with something that should be easy, there is a belief standing in the way.  For example, to go to the Naval Academy, I had to overcome the societal belief that “girls don’t do that.”  To play the edge in yoga, we have to overcome the twin fears of falling and looking foolish in class when we do fall.

When I am ready to make a change, usually in exasperation, throwing my inner hands up at myself, I have a system.  I look at myself as a client and do the 7 steps to changing a belief.  I began the process last week on a persistent issue.  In this blog, I’ll take you through the steps with myself as an example and I will post my worksheet on nkyreiki.com.  I’m taking a deep breath, crossing my fingers and diving in…

    People who know me well may be a bit surprised, but though I love a good party (and, Lord knows, am always the last one to leave) being social has always been challenging to me.  I have a hard time recognizing faces and tend to worry about saying the wrong thing.  One would think that social media would be my thing.  That one would be wrong.

    I'll never forget signing into Facebook.  I loaded up a bunch of pictures, sent out a few friend requests, then commenced to wait.  After about two weeks, things began to trickle in. One week after that they began to flood!  Turns out there is a lot of data in social media. Like a mouse from a cat I turned tail and ran for the hills.  

     In January I made my first New Year's resolution ever.  2012 is the year I learn how to communicate.  I began a blog, put together a new website (after several abortive attempts), got my web literate friends to help me with Linkedin and Facebook.  

    The only place where I still flounder is social media.  I need a plan.  If many other people can do this, I can learn as well.  When I spent some time turning it over in my mind, I realized I don't believe that I can to this. Time for step one.

1. Embrace beginner's mind- If this is something that is important enough to change you probably have some negative emotions around it.  It is time to let these go.  This could even be the first item on your checklist. List all your negatives, but don’t take them personally. Be gentle!( Most of us begin with “I’ve done this before and failed!”)
• I am afraid to fail, again.
• I am afraid of soooooo much data, what if I miss something important
• I feel the need to “answer the phone,” responding to everything- so end up responding to nothing.
• Negative posts, even about politics, bother me.
• I am afraid of exposure and openness, maybe someone will be mean
• I don’t know how to do lots of this stuff…
• I am afraid of judgement.

     When I reread what I wrote, no wonder I was having such a difficult time with all of this.  What a mess of fear.  Definitely something I want to change, even if I never use social media again.

   Naming my fears makes them smaller (even a bit ridiculous- none of these are a matter of life or death) and lets us enter beginners mind…On to step 2…

Entrainment- or How to Make Others Happy Just By Being

                Why is it that when the teacher explains that math technique in class it is so easy, and then when you get home, it is so difficult?  When the yoga instructor makes one subtle adjustment and everything works, but it is so hard to find at home?  When being with someone you love makes you happy, but being alone is morose?  The answer is entrainment.

                Here is Van Morrison’s musical take on entrainment.

  He describes how another, in their happiness and joy of life entrains him into a trance.  The physical expression of this was described by physicist Christian Huygens in 1666, after he noticed that two pendulum clocks had moved from out of sync into the same swinging rhythm.  One clock “taught” the other into rhythm.

                As a scientist at heart, I love finding evidence that validates what I “know.” Right now there is some interesting research proving that entrainment exists between people, even at a distance.  My personal favorite is from IHM Director of Research Dr. Rollin McCraty. He measured the connection between his son Josh and the boy’s dog, Mabel.  When Josh loved Mabel, it changed both of their electrocardiogram readings. They became similar in a very good way, becoming more coherent.  Here is the full article http://www.heartmath.org/templates/ihm/e-newsletter/article/2010/spring/pets-making-a-connection.php.

                In my practice I see so many people who feel underutilized, like they are not making a difference in the world.  They have not cured cancer, or started a charitable organization, or have a high-powered job.  It turns out to change the world, you don’t have to do any of these things.  The Beatles got it right, all you need is love.