How to Fire a Client, Energy Healer style

     How to fire a client. This topic has 1,270,000 articles that come up on a web search. Most deal with clients who are difficult or disrespectful, but it is different in the healing business, especially in the energy healing business. To become a healer of any sort- doctor, chiropractor, reiki practitioner- is to come from a genuine desire to help people. So what to do if the best help you can give someone is to recommend they leave?
     Recently I've been on both sides of this experience and I have a few observations that may help you as you make this decision. From the receiving end being fired was so frustrating! I wasn't sure which was worse that he said he couldn't help or that it took so long (and so much money) for him to let me know. First lesson learned:

1. Be Proactive

     For two and a half years, I was a patient of a great chiropractor. I generally saw him biweekly. We tried manipulation, traction, exercises, supplements. Nothing worked. Grr. I was feeling worse than when we started. I finally expressed my frustration with lack of progress and he said, lets take a break for a few weeks and I'll come back to you with suggestions. When I came back the suggestion was to look elsewhere for healing.
     As I write this I'm still angry that it took me (the patient) to put up the 'this isn't working' flag. We had the same discussion two other times over the years I was his patient. I should have trusted my gut earlier. It's important to know what your own abilities are. Which leads me to the second lesson.

2. Know Your Abilities

     One of the most valuable things I've ever learned can be summed up in three simple questions. Before beginning any work as yourself these questions- May I? Can I? Should I? In this situation our question is can I? Is it within my abilities to help my client?
     Two weeks ago I had to let go of a client. It was hard because not only was he a regular appointment, but I really enjoyed working with him. Sessions were very interactive and interesting. But something wasn't quite right. I couldn't put my finger on it. Then he said something in an email that made me understand. There was a situation he needed to clear before any more healing happened. And it needed skills I don't yet possess.
     For a more concrete example, if you come to me with a compound fracture of the femur, I'll send you to the orthopedic surgeon to get the bone set, then we can get to work.
    It becomes a matter of ethics. Taking someone's money and time, while knowing I can't help, is just wrong.

3. Use Your Tools

     It was hard to admit I couldn't help.
     Really hard.
     I so didn't want to make the call. So I called in reinforcements from the toolbox I have amassed over the years. My first stop was Brain Gym. Most people go to brain gym classes to learn how to help the kids, either students in their classes or clients. We all walk away with tools to help ourselves.
     When I am confronted with changing stubborn ideas, I need to look no farther than my door. Using this chart, I did a Brain Gym balance around letting go. It took about fifteen minutes.
     It felt better, but I wasn't quite ready. Time for the next tool. I got out my zafu (made from this pattern and buckwheat hulls) and sat down. That's all. Just a little time with the Lord, not to pray or ask or complain, just to spend a bit of time.
     I made the call, still not sure I could admit my inability. But it was so easy. I was calm and forthright, not pushing for 'here's the perfect solution.' We agreed to stopping the work.
     I have no idea what it was like on the client's end, but I felt very peaceful, like I had finally found the solution for a problem that was lurking in the back of my mind.

     It's never easy to change things, even if they are not working. It's just important to remember to notice how you are feeling, honor the need to change, and use all your tools to make the change as gentle as possible. If you have any ways to make this transition smoother or would like to share your story (from either side) please leave a comment below. Blessings, Pam

Curiouser and curiouser

     One thing I love about life is that the more observant I am, the more interesting life is.  It may be about why the birds are nesting right there in my flowers or why everyone reacts differently to the same occurrence. There is always something to make me question.  Like, is the picture at left a self-portrait, or is it just the forest floor?
     This act of observation is so important when you are gauging progress. Unlike building a house, baking a cake or making a quilt, self-improvement has few physical, quantifiable results.  I do all this "work," sometimes don't feel any different when I finish, but then I start to notice how differently I feel or behave.  My mentor calls it "gathering evidence."
      I'll give you an example.  One of my current "works in progress" is to be internally justified, to look only inward and upward for opinions.  To put it bluntly, I cared way too much about what everyone else thought about me and let that care rule my actions.  It was high time to take my life back.  In a combination of a Brain Gym balance (with homeplay- a daily practice to reinforce the goal) and reiki, I have made great strides.
     Here is where it gets curious.  Recently I have been to several large gatherings of people I really enjoy and have known for some time.  I found myself getting irritated with lots of people, not just one or two.  Why was that?  I like these people, right?
     What I discovered after sitting with the question was, yes, I like these people.  Before the work, rather than admitting they were human and did irritating things (which we all do), I had suppressed my feelings and made them perfect.  I wanted to get along so much that I wasn't honest with myself.
      This being internally justified requires generosity, allowing everyone to be there own crazy self, while staying true to my own crazy self.  Being authentic allows others to be so as well.  As Rumi said "Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it."

There is no try

   As I mentioned yesterday, I took a wonderful class in July, Brain Gym 101.  One of the things that made a deep impression on me was the emphasis on clarity in language.  From the beginning of the class, Carolyn emphasised speaking in positive, clear ideas.  One of my favorites is how when a student kept tripping up on trying to find a positive spin and just had to state something in a negative, "I can't..." way, Carolyn would add a "yet" to the end of the sentence ( "I can't keep my desk organized... yet").  

   Another thing she really pointed out was our use of the word "try."  If you are "trying to," you are not doing. (Interesting side note, it shocked me listening to my beloved TED talks after I got home.  Here are these accomplished people, speaking to other brilliant minds, but almost all of them use the word "try" to either describe their talk or their work.  I guess all of us are uncertain and tentative at times.)

     This message about language is so important to me, but also it seemed like one I might forget without teacher there to correct me.  I had to figure out how to bring teacher home with me, but in a light hearted way. The picture below is of the wall opposite my favorite chair in my reiki room.  I'm thinking I might remember.

PACE Your Way to Freedom

     Last week I took an amazing class! I can't recommend Brain Gym 101 with Carolyn Nyland enough.  It was one of those things that arrived at the right time, with the right instructor and the right students.  I was ready to hear and use all that was taught.  What a gift.
     As I saw my first client after the class, I was careful.  I had played around with the material a lot, but didn't want to use it before I was ready, so I left all of the materials far away from my office (so I couldn't just slip it in).  Let's just say that didn't work at all.  It is such a great tool, that I had to go get the book and we spent most of the session using the Brain Gym movements to complement the other things that I use all the time.  It was so much fun!
       So what is this Brain Gym?  There are lots of involved descriptions, with loads of jargon, all necessary for research, but for our purposes here is my favorite- "to live is to move."  If I were to go on a bit longer, it is "a movement- based educational experience centered around twenty-six simple activities that recall the movements children naturally do during their first years of life as they learn to coordinate their eyes, ears, hands, and whole body."
     What is so wonderful is the way adding Brain Gym exercises moves my sessions into "Pam territory."  I had a major realization over 2012.  I had been running someone else's practice, don't know who, but so much of what I was doing was not serving my clients.  One day last winter I spent a few hours trying to define why my clients choose me, what they are looking for.  The adjectives that I came up with are "playful, fun, generous, open, love and adorable."  Darn it!  I want to be serious and studious and all of those other words that garner respect.  After spending the last 8 months with them on the wall of my office, I've come to realize that I love them, and this is where I am meant to be.  Can you see why Brain Gym (or any other method of playing your way to health) is such a good fit?
       I've looked for YouTube videos, but most seem geared toward children.  Here is an adult version (word and pictures, with a Mozart selection from YouTube to play in the background as you awaken your brain.

     With only one course under my belt, I am not certified (though perhaps, I'm certifiable...), and have no idea where the road leads but I'm loving skipping down it.  That being said, I have a gift for you.  Wouldn't it be wonderful if, any time you wanted it, your brain was working in tip top condition?  Here is a great start from Brain Gym:

1. Energize:  Have a sip of water
     (Warning: Science Content- water supplies electrolytes that carry electrical potential across cell membranes, and this electrical exchange is essential to the functioning of the new neural networks being created as we learn)

2. Clear: Brain Buttons  
        Place one hand over your navel.  Make a "U" shape with the other hand and place your thumb and index finger in the small depressions just below your collarbone, about one inch to each side of your breastbone.  Rub the points at your collarbone for about 30 seconds as you move your eyes slowly to the left and right along a horizontal line.  Continue with the other hand.
       (Warning: Science Content- by moving our eyes right and left into the periphery while holding points in the kinesthetic midfield, we restore our centralized vision as we satisfy the scanning- reflex impulse to look away from the midline.)

3. Active: Cross Crawl
        Cross the midline of your body as you alternately move one arm and its opposite leg, then the other arm and its opposite leg.  There are lots of variations, have some fun!
       (Warning: Science Content- this exercise activates both sides of the body, firing the neural pathways in the left and right cerebral hemispheres.  It also stabilizes the pelvis, while also mobilizing and stabilizing the shoulders. And hey, it feels great.)

4. Positive- Hook- ups
         Cross your ankles.  Next, extend your arms in front of you and cross one wrist (on the same side as your top ankle) over the other; then interlace the fingers and draw your clasped hands up toward your chest.  Hold like this for a minute or more, breathing slowly, with your eyes closed and the tip of your tongue on the roof of your mouth as you inhale.

         When ready, uncross your arms and legs.  Put your fingertips together in front of your chest.
         (You guessed it: Science Content-  activates the vestibular system and balance- related muscles, supporting us in restoring equilibrium after emotional or environmental stress.  It draws blood and attention away from the body's periphery and the fight or flight reflexes and back to the body's midfield, inhibiting reflexive behavior and supporting higher-order thinking and decision making.)

     I hope you are still here with me.  I know that was a lot of information (actually, my fingers are a bit tired from typing).  Trust me, it is much easier to do than to read about.  So, give it a try.  Put on some instrumental music that you love and let your body move.  Let me know how it works for you or if you have any questions.