The World's Most Dangerous Word

"I'll try."

I couldn't believe my ears. The young man standing before me was a tutoring student. He is Japanese and about to go back to Japan to take the college entrance test. The family is spending lots of money and he was taking the test that would determine his future for the next six years and he was going to try.

Normally, I'd let it pass. I'm not his parent only his tutor. But his mother was standing in the room with us and was clearly worried about sending him out to do this important task. His posture did not inspire confidence. You could hear the implied "...and fail" in his statement.

So I treated him like one of my sons and called him on his language. Both he and his mother were bewildered. She even said "Maybe we don't understand what the English word try really means." Rather than explain with words, I pulled out a dining room chair and said "I'm trying to sit down." My behind slowly descended, but never reached the chair. Her face changed in an instant to glowing comprehension, then she began to scold her son. Moments of deep understanding are a precious thing. I felt privileged to witness.

Language is vital.

What we hear becomes what we believe becomes our actions in the world.

The brain hears what we say and makes it real. Does a batter approach the plate and try to hit the ball? Only if he wants to miss. He has a responsibility to the team and will follow through. I was made aware of the weakness of 'try' by Carolyn Nyland of Kaleidoscope Learning Center during a Brain Gym class.

As we learned how movement helps the brain work better, she caught us over and over using the word 'try.' By the end of the three day class, I was hyper aware of how weak our language use was. I resolved to make my life a 'try'-free zone.

The word try is short and sweet. It gets people off our backs. "I'll try to make it." Meaning you won't be there, and please stop asking me. "I'll try this math problem." Yeah, right. It reminds me of running the Turkey Trot about ten years ago. I ran for the last two miles about 20 feet behind a guy dressed in an enormous turkey costume. There were feathers that went from his low back to over his head.

The first thing I did when I went home was find someone to make me a vinyl wall art with Yoda's famous quote "Do or Do not there is no try." It is a great reminder to both myself and my clients that we believe what we say about ourselves.

When the word 'try' walks into your brain and attempts to rent a space, throw him out on his ear.