Forgiveness: A Call to Compassion

     It's a bad thing when your auto suggestion on both the phone and computer suggest 'sorry' each time you type the letter 's.' How many times did I have to say sorry to get that to happen? I realized this last February and have spent the last year noticing how often I apologized for things that I had no control over or were just plain silly. It was stunning, and how irritating it must be for those receiving the endless stream of 'sorry's.
     Recently I've been meditating on the Prayer of St. Francis (that's him, of course, with the Wolf of Gubbio, a great forgiveness story). I've always loved the saint and thought his way of life was a good one. But this prayer of his, now this is really interesting. There is only one thing that he mentions twice- pardoning.

"Where there is injury, pardon..."

"It is in pardoning that we are pardoned..."

     In spending more time with the prayer I've come to realize that I am only doing the first, always begging pardon and asking for forgiveness. "Sorry I did this..." "Sorry this didn't work out..." I've never really done the second part, receiving the pardon that was given. When pardon is received, then the emotion, guilt, should leave the memory, so we remember how to prevent the problem, but not feel guilty about the failure.
     The other thing to consider in these phrases is the word injury. The most comfortable people in the world to be around emotionally are the wise, the monks and nuns whose years of study and living in community have made them so forgiving, I never feel like I have injured them. No need to apologize because no offense given.
     Now jump to me, at a conference or a meeting. I feel like I spend my whole time there forgiving the person who keeps clicking his pen or sniffing. How about the person who is perennially disorganized, dropping everything, never finding the pen that is right there? Oh wait, that's me so that one is okay. I keep needing to forgive people for doing things that only offend 'my rules.' Kids running around don't bother me, so that's okay. Those clicking pens and runny noses don't really offend me either. I don't even notice. Here's what bugs me- people who apologize and explain all the time. Me. What drives me crazy is the flaw I am trying to excise from myself.
      In some ways that's a good thing. At least I'm aware. Now that I'm aware, it's time to practice compassion. Time to find a few less thing to forgive and just accept right where they are. How about you? What drives you crazy? What is your call to compassion? Just leave a comment below.