Confused? That's a Good Thing

            I have had a very frustrating afternoon!  I'd bet many of you have been here as well.  So far, two clients have cancelled, I'm having problems with some office stuff I paid a lot of money for, etc, etc, etc.  I could go on, but you probably would click on to the next website.
             When I just sat down to think about it, I couldn't get a handle on what is wrong.  Is it just me?  So I ran myself on the Nu|vision.  This is a program that scans your energy field to assess your overall well being (for more information contact me using this link).  The item that really resonated with me was this phrase...

Healing Process Sign - Confusion, breaking down of old emotional patterns. This can be experienced as chaos because of the unfamiliarity of true emotional reality

     It was like looking at the fall foliage.  The photo on the left is a picture of one of our maple trees.  When I look at the top leaf (representing my afternoon, of course), it is pretty ugly.  There are spots of yellow, green, red and orange.  It is all pretty chaotic.  The background leaves are a little nicer, but in this photo it is hard to ignore the "in your face" leaf.
      When you step back a bit, like the photo on the right, the leaves tell a different story.  The different colors look more like the change of seasons and less like leprosy.  The tree is in the process of change, becoming even more beautiful than it was in the summer.  As I stood in the sun on a beautiful fall day, rather than being inside with my clients, parts of the afternoon started to feel nicer.  I love the sun, being barefoot in October, taking pictures, writing blog posts.  So there are some good things going on in my chaos.
             I know 10 years from now, I'll be able to really step back and see the big picture. All the change that 2012 has brought into my life will have a bit of perspective.  It's like looking at my old journals.  Each time I get the old ones out, I think "I believed that?" and "That was my response?"  I'm always grateful to be where I am now, never wanting to go back to the past.
              Until then I need to be patient, continually remembering this year's affirmation, "I am willing to change."  One day I'll see this afternoon like this, a beautiful blaze of glory....