As I’m
sure many people also feel, doing my taxes was wildly depressing. In quantifying and categorizing all that I
spent and all that I received for my business, I felt like a failure. How could I be in business for 4 years and
not understand business? Everyone leaves
a reiki session with such great feelings and positive messages, how could I
still be such a beginner in the financial realm?
I
prayed and soul searched, but was so loud in my longings I was never quiet
enough to hear God speak. Sometimes when one persistently misses the point, God
arranges things so it cannot possibly be missed. I had that kind of Tuesday.
Each
Tuesday I meet with a friend to discuss our current religious book, and then
toddle off to teach yoga. We are reading
“Story of a Soul” by St. Therese of Lisieux.
One passage that we each had highlighted discussed the saint’s problems
with the seemingly inequitable distribution of gifts. Why are some saints, and others just struggle
through life without all of the graces God gives the saints? She said “…every flower created by Him is
beautiful, …the brilliance of the rose and the whiteness of the lily do not
lessen the perfume of the violet or the sweet simplicity of the daisy. I
understood that if all the lowly flowers wished to be roses, nature would lose
its springtide beauty, and the fields would no longer be enameled with lovely
hues.”
With
these words I could feel the pitch. God
was throwing the ball to me to use as I would.
Did it mean go back to doing less?
Is being a daisy closing up shop?
Wouldn’t have been easy if that is what He meant. But clarity was soon to come…
When I arrived at yoga, I was
greeted with a huge bouquet of daffodils of every shape, size and hue that
bloom in early spring. From the tiny
yellow Tete a Tete to the bold white
Mount Hood, each was beautiful by itself, but when they were all together, now
that was amazing. It struck me
powerfully that denying my call to energy healing, returning to “normal”
(though I never really was normal) or getting a “real job” would reduce the
variety in life. A huge bouquet of
yellow King Alfred just has one note, a bit monotone, and I love variety.
So I hit the pitch, recommitting to
my healing business, and we’ll see how far it gets.
