Sometimes Progress Feels Like Retreat

relaxation and rest

    Yeah, it's frustrating.  The world tells you that happiness is where it's at.  Keep a gratitude journal.  Take time to do what you enjoy.  Relax like a cat.  But what happens when your path takes you through darkness?
    The first time I ever experienced this was in a yoga class.  The class was at the old Tri City YMCA, taught by Shalini Latour (aside from being a yoga teacher, she makes gourmet chocolates, yum!).  The class focused on neck position.  In each pose she would talk us into correct placement of the head and shoulders.  About 45 minutes into class I began to cry.  Tears flooded down my face.
        It was like there was a cyst of unhappiness in my shoulder and when the muscles relaxed, it released all of the poisonous emotions stored there.  At the time I was mortified, but everyone just let me be and  I finished the class.  Of course, later I learned that emotions can be stored in the body, and are often expressed on the way out.

Me, trying to get into the Elephant camp
 Chang Mai, Thailand

        At these times, it is important to remember the glass is half full.  Here we are, working so hard to be positive. To get there, sometimes you have to plow through yesterday's troubles to get to tomorrow's peace.
       This picture is of me in Thailand.  It is in 1989 and I am at my young, fit best.  Look at my body posture. I'm terrified.   Notice the fear in my body. This fear (or anger or grief or whatever other emotion) happens all the time.  If you don't let it out, it get's stored in the body.
       It is important to remember that the healing crisis, whether it be physical or emotional, is part of the healing process.  Let the unhappy feelings wash over you, then return to your emotional center, the calm of a cat sleeping, safe and secure.