So often when we want to begin
something new, or have persistent problems with something that should be easy,
there is a belief standing in the way.
For example, to go to the Naval Academy, I had to overcome the societal
belief that “girls don’t do that.” To play
the edge in yoga, we have to overcome the twin fears of falling and looking
foolish in class when we do fall.
When I am ready to make a change,
usually in exasperation, throwing my inner hands up at myself, I have a
system. I look at myself as a client and
do the 7 steps to changing a belief. I
began the process last week on a persistent issue. In this blog, I’ll take you through the steps
with myself as an example and I will post my worksheet on nkyreiki.com. I’m taking a deep breath, crossing my fingers
and diving in…
People who know me well may be a bit
surprised, but though I love a good party (and, Lord knows, am always the last
one to leave) being social has always been challenging to me. I have a
hard time recognizing faces and tend to worry about saying the wrong thing.
One would think that social media would be my thing. That one would
be wrong.
I'll never forget signing into Facebook.
I loaded up a bunch of pictures, sent out a few friend requests, then
commenced to wait. After about two weeks, things began to trickle in. One
week after that they began to flood! Turns out there is a lot of data in
social media. Like a mouse from a cat I turned tail and ran for the hills.
In January I made my first New Year's
resolution ever. 2012 is the year I learn how to communicate. I
began a blog, put together a new website (after several abortive attempts), got
my web literate friends to help me with Linkedin and Facebook.
The only place where I still flounder is
social media. I need a plan. If many other people can do this, I
can learn as well. When I spent some time turning it over in my mind, I
realized I don't believe that I can to this. Time for step one.
- Embrace beginner's mind- If this is something that is important enough to change you probably have some negative emotions around it. It is time to let these go. This could even be the first item on your checklist. List all your negatives, but don’t take them personally. Be gentle!( Most of us begin with “I’ve done this before and failed!”)
- I am afraid to fail, again.
- I am afraid of soooooo much data, what if I miss something important
- I feel the need to “answer the phone,” responding to everything- so end up responding to nothing.
- Negative posts, even about politics, bother me.
- I am afraid of exposure and openness, maybe someone will be mean
- I don’t know how to do lots of this stuff…
- I am afraid of judgement.
When I reread
what I wrote, no wonder I was having such a difficult time with all of
this. What a mess of fear. Definitely something I want to change, even
if I never use social media again.
Naming my fears makes them smaller (even a bit
ridiculous- none of these are a matter of life or death) and lets us enter
beginners mind…On to step 2…
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