Finding Your Why

         How is it that so often what we want to do, what we 'should' do is so hard?  Why is it that something we love uses up all of our willpower to just begin, much less finish?  For me the root motivation is always my "why?"  Why to get up in the morning, why to eat well, why to be kind to the telemarketer, why do anything at all?
        I wrote about the power of meaning in these three posts about ikigai (the Okinawan word for life purpose).  Somehow or another I just keep finding areas in my life that I have forgotten to apply this to.  Last week I discovered another neglected region.
       In January 2013, I became mostly vegan (here are my influences).  It was very intellectually satisfying and there is so much scientific evidence, but the buzz didn't last.  Another big factor is my commitment to the environment.  We have relatives living in New Jersey, and with each trip east there are more factory farms on the Pennsylvania turnpike.  Each time we travel, it reminds me of how detrimental this concentrated waste stream is to the local ecosystem (not to mention the animal suffering).  More about this here.  Again, day to day commitment was challenging.

     I had a major "Ahah!" moment last week when I was out running.  How do I see myself?  How do I make my life easier?  I'm not an environmentalist and my heart always beats my head in big decisions, so who am I?   I have always seen myself as an athlete and never heard the words "you can't" without saying "yes I can!"  I realized in the past I had read 3 books that provide my motivation.   Four days later, I purchased them and found my purpose again.
    Eat and Run: My Unlikely Journey to Ultramarathon Greatness by Scott Jurek is a voyage.  He takes us through is life (as quirky as our own) that leads to health and purpose without discounting the struggles to get there.  There is a recipe at the end of each chapter, but the most important part, for me, is the reality of his journey.  He lets us in on the physical, emotional and spiritual pitfalls he has encountered.  It is so approachable.

      My next book is Thrive: The Vegan Nutrition Guide to Optimal Performance in Sports and Life by Brendan Brazier.  He has an emphasis on live, easy to digest foods the are portable and flexible.  Even better, the healing foods are interesting, piquant and right up my alley.  All of the recipes that I have tried have worked well and are to my taste.  Once I read that if you get three recipes from a book, it is money well spent.  In this book I have tried many more and have liked them all.
    Running with the Mind of Meditation: Lessons for Training Body and Mind is the final book.  I love to move and I love to meditate.  Over the years I have learned that often I need one to do the other.  This book gives easy and practical motivations for creating the peaceful mind inside the moving body.  What I love the most about this particular book is that  Sakyong Mipham, the author, approaches running as the secondary condition, and meditation as the primary, a completely opposite approach from mine.  It is great to see the world from eyes that are different, but a mind that agrees with your own.

     I leave you with one last motivation for my going mostly vegan.  It is Dr Greger's 2012 presentation about the leading causes of death.  All of the YouTube videos are fairly poor, but I love the talk.  He makes me laugh and what more could you want on a talk about the causes of death?
     So, here are my reasons for this one decision.  What are yours?

From Pain to Peace

       I had the most interesting experience last night.  I learned how to relax into pain.
       For the last few months (okay, longer than that...) I have  been having a rough time once a month.  Let's just say, my friends have been teasing me about The Change.  Not being ready for menopause, I have been denying it vigorously.  What I couldn't deny was the pain that each month brought.
       Since I have been preparing for a class on stress, I decided to treat pain as a stressor.  On Monday, I wrote a post about how I create affirmations.  Last night I put it to work.
       When I described the cause of my stress, it had the words hurt, afraid, whole body and descriptions of time (more than last month, less than two months ago).  I realized that a lot of the pain was caused by my reaction to the initial complaint.  So how to relax the body amidst distraction...

     I printed out Monday's post and wrote all over the back.  You can kind of see the bubble of the zebra's words in the top left corner. The affirmation I came up with you can see on the bottom.  " I am consciously aware of the calm silence of my spirit." (this sounds awfully good, bet I read it somewhere before, maybe from Louise Hay...) I like this because it also reminds me of the calm I have cultivated when things are not as stressful.  I love to meditate, why not access it now?
    It took about 2 hours of conscious inner relaxation.  The pain was still there, but by not tensing against it, I was not creating more.  Once I got to bed, I slept easily through the night.  I also found that this came in handy when I was running this morning.  Consciously relaxing the muscles that were protesting really works!  I hope this technique will benefit you as well.  Be Blessed!

Start Your Week by Being

           On Sunday, as I was helping my son pack to return to camp, he asked me if I could write up a few things to do with the campers to create a community and (hopefully) use that sense of community to encourage both better behavior and more fun.  Over the years I have done a lot of substitute teaching, working with the children at church and have taught yoga at daycare.  This means I have a lot of resources for community building games that are fun, but don't require any "stuff," just a sense of adventure and a bit of leadership.  One of the things I pulled out was my Yoga Pretzels (Yoga Cards).  This has been a lifesaver on many occasions. The authors and I have very similar styles, mixing education with fun and down right silliness.
           Taking some ideas from the cards and others from experience, I wrote up a one page team building blueprint.  Somewhere in the back of my mind I was both happy and sad that I wouldn't be the one doing these things.  When I returned from dropping him off at camp and began to clean up, this is what I found on the bottom of one of the yoga cards.

"The privilege of a lifetime is being who you are."

                                        - Joseph Campbell
           I can't imagine a better way to organize my week.  Concentrate a bit more on being and a bit less on doing.
 


     A little addendum....  I wrote this post just before my run, but waited to publish so that I could review it.  While I was running (or to an outside observer, staggering), I had an experience that I have not had since leaving Italy in 1996.
           One thing I loved about living in Europe is that European men have a way of letting you know that you are appreciated as a woman without being threatening or suggestive.  It was a nice feeling.  There was this one Greek waiter in Pippo Pappo's restaurant in Aci Trezza, Sicily who flirted outrageously with me the entire time I was pregnant with my first son.
          Back to today, I ran by some men who were fixing the sidewalk. One of them, without ever taking his eyes off my face, let me know that I was a beautiful woman.  For a short, rounded, 45 year old woman, it was unexpected and oh-so-nice.  It takes so little to make someone's day, I hope to pass the gift on to everyone I meet (the feeling, not the noticing them as a woman, I'll leave that one to the guys...).                          

When Good Really is Enough

        This morning I ran week 6, day 3 of the couch to 5K program again.  I love the app because it gives you directions out loud, but so far it has not fixed my confidence problem.  Though I have been working the program for about 9 weeks, but running 20 minutes straight (week 7, day 1) has not happened yet.  I'm pretty sure Wednesday will be my day (today was pretty good), but I was not happy with myself.

        I'm out running and this is what I see...  Wow.  I was beginning to see that the win was just getting out the door. Not 200 yards further, I was treated to a beautiful sycamore and her twin.

I love their beauty and strength.  Like an old married couple they are both shaped and strengthened by their partner.  Just being there was good enough.