Enneagram Type 2: The Helper

from here

    When you try to visualize a Type Two, think Dori from Finding Nemo. Always super helpful, super cheerful, loving, caring, and above all, fixing things for you. As a Two myself, I can tell you that I'm great to be around if you want help on your project, but much more difficult if you just want to tell your story because I want to fix whatever the problem is. Also, I'm told my happiness before the first cup of coffee is absolutely insufferable.

     A Two is always ready to lend a hand in whatever your working on, ready to drop their plans to fill your need, fun-loving, playful, social, loves a good party especially with close friends. Think of Dori "Games! I love games!" And yes, I do host family game nights. A Two's greatest fear is being abandoned or not needed. This serving of others can become manipulative. "If I remember your birthday, you'll remember mine." Or "how can I make you love me?"
     The essence, or energy, of every type is easiest to understand when you see it in action. I was reminded of that this weekend when I met a friend. She is always so much fun and has taken great care of her aging parents, sometimes to the exclusion of her children, for the last 20 years. In the past two years, both of them have died. In the will, the family home was left to the eldest son, with very little left over for my friend. She was justly angry, but unable to do anything about it because she did not want to destroy her family. This is a Two in action.
      She correctly perceived her family's need and that they did not quite love her the way they loved their eldest son. She worked tirelessly to fix both problems. When it didn't work out, she still was not willing to hurt the family by trying to change the will.
     This morning I found a new website about the Enneagram, ninepaths.com. She uses videos so the different types can explain themselves in their own words. I think the technique is brilliant. Here are the two videos she chose for the Two.

     In here the Two says "When I first read the chapter on 2s in the Enneagram, I was relating to a lot of it until it got to this part about giving to get. And I said, “Oh, that’s ridiculous. I never give to get. I’m just the most helpful, giving, nurturing person in the world. I know dozens of people who couldn’t survive without me.” How very honest.

      Our next Two says "I could see that people were needy people. Everywhere. All the time. So it gave me an excuse to do something for them all the time. If someone is not well, I’ll say, “Oh, did you try that? Because maybe it’s good for you.” Really what’s important is to fix." Perfect last words on the Type Two.